Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sammy Called

Sammy called me ... 6 times in a row.

He had left a message on my home phone and called Debbie twice. I was on a business call when I heard those awful beeps. I have to admit ... I noticed the call waiting name and decided to wait. I knew what he wanted. It was far from an emergency.

I called him back:

"Hi Dad."

"Joel ... what can I do for you?"

"Um ... Dad ... you were trying to call me."

"Oh yeah. Listen ... do you know how I can get in touch with the Schmidlaps (not their real name, btw)? They were very good to me when I was here before."

"That was 30 years ago, Dad. I don't know where they are. I can look it up when I get ..."

"Do you know his first name?"

"It's Stan."

There was silence ... "Dan?"

"No, Stan."


Okay. Here I was ... on my way to work ... speaking on a car speaker ... in rush hour traffic. I was now speaking very loudly. "No. Stan ... S...T...A...N."

"T A N?"

"You left off the S?"

"I did what?"

"S ... AS IN SAM!!" (Now yelling)

"His name is Sam?"

"NO ... STAN !!!!"

"You know ... I looked in the "book" and all I could find was a 'Stan Schmedlap'."

I no longer had a voice. I hoarsely whispered:

"I think that's the one."  

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...