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Showing posts from May, 2011

Sunday With Sammy

Sammy scanned the menu at Bob Evans.

Debbie commented, "You are looking skinnier, Sam."
"I lost a few pounds. I just don't have an appetite ... I'm not as hungry any more."
Just then the waitress came up to take our order. "What can I get for you?"
Sammy, "Um ... I'll take two eggs over easy, bacon, two biscuits and an order of pancakes."

Hmmm ... I wonder what he would have ordered if he was really hungry.

"Sammy, " I said as I noticed the syrup dripping down his front, "that shirt looks good on you."
"Everybody tells me that."
"It's a good color for you," Debbie said,"You still have the other two I bought you?"
"Yeah, I think so. They are still in the bags."
"What colors are they?"
"Yellow and blue."
"Why don't you open them?"
"I don't need them. I have three shirts and that's all I want."
Deb looked at me. "Well…

Patios, Football and Me and Julio

Man it's hot today.

Debbie asked me to help clean off the patio ... so ... I grabbed the hose and cleaning gear and headed outside. Those were the hottest 12 minutes of my life.

I was exhausted.

So ... I stretched out on the couch and watched the TiVo recording of Friday Night Lights. Ever watch it? Probably one of the best series ever produced. 

It's all about the Dillon Panthers, a high school football team based in fictional Dillon, Texas, with particular focus given to team coach Eric Taylor and his family. 

In the fourth season, Taylor becomes coach of the Lions at East Dillon High School, set in the poorer side of Dillon with a larger African American population. The show uses this small-town backdrop to address many issues facing contemporary Middle America, including school funding, racism, drugs, abortion, and lack of economic opportunities.

This is the fifth season. You gotta watch it. 


Alissa called me. She told me about a concert she went to the ot…

Go Bolts!

It's been 7 years since the Tampa Bay Lightning won the NHL Stanley Cup. This year they once again made it to the playoffs and are tied 2 games apiece with the Boston Bruins. 
Exciting times on the ice. I was lucky enough to have a seat in the players' box for practice right before the game. Check it out:

Game five is in Boston. Keep your fingers crossed. 

Ablation Part 2

After what seems like 25 visits to Tampa General Hospital ... They finally found my heart!
Wasn't easy for them. I've pretty well beat it up over the last 62 years and it wasn't too big to begin with. So if you're not TOO OVER my medical stories .... Here's another.
Yesterday my angelic wife Debbie drove me to the hospital at 6AM for Part 2 of my cardiac ablation. This time ... to try to zap the little electrical misfires on the right side of my heart (the last time it was the left side).
I didn't bother taking pictures of the stuff that you must be sick of by now ... My gown, slippers, potty, wires, nurses ...
They pre-prepped me when I got there. That means, they stabbed me a few times, checked my weight, blood pressure, and told me to lie down for a few hours (apparently until the anesthesiologist and doctor woke up and arrived at the hospital).
The anesthesiologist came in to talk to me about 8. He was already dressed in surgical gear and ready to go (didn&#…

Oh ... To Be Loved

You know... ever since I've been writing this "humor" blog, I've noticed that I have lost most of my friends, my kids don't talk to me for fear they will appear in print, I've gotten hate mail from friends of friends and my wife doesn't even read it any more.

The good news is ... strangers love me.

Today I decided to be the kinder, gentler soul that the strangers love and those close to me have apparently forgotten. I'd like to award some special awards to those who read my blog and some who have even appeared:

Favorite Remodeler: That would have to be Debbie ... who has made a second career in this field. We have been married for about 12 years (she can't remember either). Eleven of those have been in houses that have been partially renovated ... although I always thought they were finished. Note to Debbie: Yes dear ... you are my best friend.

Favorite First Person I Thought Of: I hired Stephanie Hall 256 years ago at All Children's Hospital …

Check, please?

This afternoon the family met at a little beach place called The Pub for Mother's Day.

It should have been an easy afternoon ... no stress ... sisters, brothers, spouses, kids all were happily sharing tales ... Joanne (Deb's mom) was having a ball.

Then the check came.

Now, ordinarily, paying the check is not a traumatic event. If a bunch of couples are eating together and the check is dropped off, typically one of the guys says ... "Okay ... let's see ... it's $200 and there are 20 of us ... that's $10 apiece plus a $2 tip ... so depending on how many in your party, multiply by $12 and we're there."

Not so easy when the sisters do it:

Lee: "I put Mom on my check, so everyone owes me something."

Dennie: "No, I put Mom AND Dad on my check ... so we need to figure this out."

Debbie: "Here's my card."

Keli: "I'm lost."

Lee: "I just don't want anyone to think that I'm not paying my part."


Mother's Day ... Esther Remembered

Indulge me. 
Mother's Day brings up thoughts of Esther and I thought I might republish two of my favorite Esther stories:
1. THE CLOSET. (Note: Those of you who have heard this ... about 357 of you ... feel free to skip to number two) Esther's closet was literally half the size of Esther's house on Melody Drive and was legendary in New Orleans.What made this even more interesting was that Esther was not wealthy (not even close) ... just a little crazy. The house was small ... but the closet .... was MASSIVE.  
One year, I made a sizable income selling tickets to view THE CLOSET. It was every little girl's ... and big girl's dream. For starters, there were eight 30 foot racks of clothing all individually wrapped and hung by color, season and type. Many were duplicates and triplicates of the same item. (Remember Esther was "obsessive" and didn't want to ever run the risk of something going out of style). I think we once also counted more than 300 pairs of …

Sammy's Field Trip

Yesterday ... I decided to take Sammy to the university to see the campus.

I picked him up at 9. He was eating breakfast in a dining room that was about half the size of the one on his floor. His floor is being changed over from a multi use floor to specific focused care ... so the dining facilities have closed and now the residents eat in an area that used to be patient rooms.

"You doing okay?" I asked him.
"Sure ... now that I'm not peeing blood any more."
"Hey ... let me ask you. Did you ever have your bladder cauterized?"
"Nope. Can't say I have."
"Man ... is it painful."
"You felt pain?"
"No ... but the doctor told me it was gonna be painful." He gummed a few more bites of his scrambled eggs and made sure his mouth was completely full before he continued. "How do you like this dining room?"
"Well ... it's a little small I guess."
"I really like it."