Thursday, January 30, 2014

MAN RULES

I saw these "Man Rules" posted on Facebook.

Thought I'd share some of them with you ... The author is a brave man.

Notice that all the rules are numbered #1 (Of course!)

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.  Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
- Subtle hints do not work.
- Strong hints do not work.
- Obvious hints do not work.
- Just say it.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of those ways make you angry or sad ... we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit ... not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying ... but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... really.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


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Sunday, January 26, 2014

Cool Media Coverage

I don't know about you but, personally, I just love the media coverage of Justin Bieber.

Let's face it ... doesn't he deserves to appear on the front page of the Tampa Bay Times after getting arrested early Thursday morning? Do you know ANY other 19 year old who would drive drunk and race through their neighborhoods? And his charming personality ... there's a cute picture of him waving to his 13 year old fans when he was released sitting atop his car.

Those who blame the media for covering stories like this should be ashamed of themselves. The media has a responsibility ... to their shareholders. They know how much the general public wants to hear about Justin. I was watching CNN and they were covering some boring story about terrorist attacks in Russia when they broke the story about Bieber. Thank heavens.

I was getting depressed thinking that nothing relevant was happening around the world since Miley Cyrus twerked and did that really cool thing with her tongue and the big rubber finger.

Fortunately, she kept the media working overtime with debates and interviews and appearances on numerous prime time shows.

And then ... Richard Sherman did his post game interview with Erin Andrews and told the world he was the most important individual pretty much in the world and became the center of attention for the upcoming Super Bowl. Also ... probably the richest ... now. Oh, if you don't know he's that very smart person from Stanford.

So get over it you people who want to send Bieber back to Canada (How do you do that ... put him in a crate?) or tell your kids not to watch the super clean Miley Cyrus (Her daddy is okay with it.) or call Sherman a thug (Don't you know that's the new "n" word?)

Geez.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Movie Daze

We've been going to the movies a lot lately.

Here are my top three:

1. American Hustle. Great movie! Incredible script and fantastic acting all the way around. Story: It's "a fictional film set in the alluring world of one of the most stunning scandals to rock our nation." American Hustle tells the story of brilliant con man Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale ... who looks the part of a fat balding Jewish guy who has the worst toupee you've ever seen), who along with his equally cunning and seductive partner Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams ... fake British accent and all) is forced to work for a wild FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper ... who looks and acts the part of a dumb agent). DiMaso pushes them into a world of Jersey powerbrokers and mafia that's as dangerous as it is enchanting. Jeremy Renner is Carmine Polito, the passionate, volatile, New Jersey political operator caught between the con-artists and Feds. Irving's unpredictable wife Rosalyn (Jennifer Lawrence ... who looks great) could be the one to pull the thread that brings the entire world crashing down.

2. Saving Mr. Banks. Another great movie! Story: Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) tried for 20 years to obtain the movie rights from P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) , the author of Mary Poppins. Mrs. Travers is a difficult Englishwoman. She fusses over every detail of the script. "No cartoons." "Not your Mr. Dick Van Dyke. Laurence Olivier is great." (Can you imagine Laurence Olivier playing Bert the chimney sweep?) "No made-up words." This pronouncement inspires a truly hilarious yet compact scene, no more than a look and a gesture really, of the Sherman brothers (music and lyrics) concealing the sheet music for "Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious."

3. Grudge Match. I don't care if it's about 70 year old boxers ... I love this stuff. I could watch Rocky movies all day long. Story: Boxers Henry "Razor" Sharp (Sylvester Stallone) and Billy "The Kid" McDonnen (Robert De Niro) become rivals after two fights, one in which Kid beats Razor and one in which Razor beats Kid. Before they have a rematch, Razor announces his retirement, ruining both of their careers. Years later, Razor is working in a shipyard when he's visited by promoter Dante Slate Jr. (Kevin Hart), who wants Razor to provide a motion capture performance for a video game. Razor begrudingly accepts $15,000 needed to renovate his house. At the recording studio, he is surprised by Kid, who was also invited by Slate, and the two get into a fight and damage the studio's equipment before being arrested. Cellphone footage of the fight is uploaded on YouTube and goes viral, giving Slate the idea of organizing a final fight between Razor and Kid, which he calls a "Grudge Match".


Lots of other choices that are out there ... "Wolf of Wall Street" (not for the faint of heart or the faint of language), "Secret Life of Walter Mitty" (entertaining, light remake of the classic) and Lone Survivor (I'm going to see that one Monday night with a bunch of ex military guys).

Feel free to list your favorites here too!\

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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Year In Review

Happy 2014!

My 2013 year in review was definitely a mix of the bad and the beautiful.
It started with a bang in February.

Deb and I travelled to LA and went to the Grammy Awards. We spent too much money on an auction item to get there ... but had a great time when we got there.



Nikki got married in February.

She and Steven Cohen tied the knot in Charleston at a beautiful old Plantation in front of friends and family.

Picture perfect ... it was a great beginning for her new life in Savannah.


I won an Emmy.

Actually, the award was presented in December of 2012 but delivered in March. It was for an animated video, Chicken Named Mac that was part of a series that Mike Sexton and I wrote and Kevin Riley produced. It was shown on this year's CMN Telethon.

Dr. Momberg-Cohen finished her residency at Memorial Hospital in June in Savannah. She took her boards and signed on with an Internal Medicine group.

My schwannoma neurosurgical procedure happened on July 15 at TGH. It turned out to be an eight hour operation that concluded with the successful removal of the tumor that was wrapped around my trigeminal nerve that affected the right side of my head and face.


I had a second surgery in August to place a shunt in my spine and my abdomen to drain the excess fluid that had accumulated after the procedure and was causing brain swelling. Another milestone ... I watched the entire 80 segment series of the Sopranos while my brain rested.



I returned to TGH 2 more times this year for a shunt repair and had a stent placed in one of my arteries.

Nikki and Steven had a baby ... the first grandson: Cole Benjamin. (Um ... he's perfect)

The USF Unstoppable Campaign closed with a record $621 million ... the largest campaign in USF history. The celebration at the Tampa Bay Times Forum was fantastic. I was still wearing a patch for double vision ... a few weeks later the vision came back (perfect).
Son Josh was named employee of the month (5 tool player award) from the TB Rays where he works as an intern. It was the only time an intern won this award.

He also got his MBA from USF this year.

Debbie and her sister Lee Stratton with Smith and Associates Real Estate had another banner year ... almost $20 million in sales for the "Sisters Who Sell St. Pete".
My book was finally published (after 30 years) ... Home Movies is now available on Amazon.com.

Alissa and Nate Lawver announced their engagement this week! What a way to end the year.













All in all ... it was a very good year. Lots to be thankful for. Much love to friends and family for sharing the good and bad with us.

My very best wishes to the readers of I Was Born Very Young for a special 2014.