Sunday, February 28, 2016

Big Apple Continued

We decided to sleep late.

It was about 11 when we made our way to the lobby and saw the most incredible array of food items ever assembled on a Sunday Brunch line. 

The only mistake we made before we dove in was to check the price. An omelette and a few shrimp later, I paid the bill. 

"You need to make 15 more trips up there!" Debbie told me as she looked at the $200 total. 

She also went to St. Patrick's Cathedral to pay for our sins right after our breakfast. I did what most heathens do ... Skipped church. 

At 3 PM we met our good friends Tara and Tod Leiweke. Tod is the COO for the NFL and has been Goodell's right hand for the past few months since moving to New York. 

We went to the Metropolitan Museum, Tod's favorite spot. I didn't realize that Tod knew much about art. 

I was impressed when Tod said to me "So let me get this straight ... An artist puts paint on his brushes and then he splashes it around on a canvas." 

"And that is called a painting!"

"Ahh. Yes."



Saturday, February 27, 2016

Big Apple Surprises

So Deb had three surprises for me today. 


One was reservations at the Waldorf Astoria (where we honeymooned). Place is as elegant as it always has been. We ate lunch at the Bull and Bear Steakhouse below the lobby. I haven't had much of an appetite this week but managed a steak sandwich and French onion soup. Deb had lox and bagels and we were both satisfied ... By the way, has anyone figured out how to eat French onion soup without having that long 
piece of cheese flap out of your mouth?


We took a power nap this afternoon and then headed to surprise number two: Dinner at Saju Bistro for dinner. It wasn't a place we were familiar with but Deb did her research and turned out to be great. Problem was, we were both not hungry at all so we ordered more soup and more  a cheese tray that we cancelled. Big night out for us. They did come out with a birthday candle on some cookies ... Very sweet. 

Then BIG surprise number 3!


Tickets to Beautiful ...The Carole King  musical which was SUPERB! Gotta tell you if you haven't seen it ... Run to New York ... Seriously. The performances, the music (from her Motown days to her later years) and the story all worked so well together. I'd see it again. 

What a treat!

Coughing up the Big Apple

On our way to NYC.

Deb did a birthday weekend for me.  I'm not sure what's planned (not for the usual reason of not paying attention). She actually kept it all a secret. So far I know we are flying Delta. 

I'm sipping some hot tea because ... Big surprise ... I've been living with the flu. When I caught it a week ago I heard that some people have it for two days but others ... (Translation: me!) ... Have it for weeks. This type of flu stays pretty much in the chest and causes fits of coughing. My fellow passengers just presented a petition to the captain asking for my removal. 

Good thing it's about 20 degrees in New York. Should teach those bad germs a lesson. 

I'll keep you posted as we make our way through New York or hack our way through. 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Yogi Has Nothin On Sammy

As you may know, I am writing a book about Sammy. I came across one that I wrote in July of 2008. Thought I'd reprint it:

BIRTHDAY IN BED

Today, Debbie and I went to Menorah Manor for his birthday celebration. When we arrived ... all the birthday celebrants were gathered around the decorated tables ready to sing happy birthday and partake of the huge birthday cake centerpiece.

All were there ... except for Sam.

We went upstairs to his room and found him asleep wearing one shirt backward over his other shirt ... snoring happily.

"Hey Dad ..."

"Huh?" He looks at us for a minute.  "Oh ... what are you doing here?"

"We came to celebrate your birthday. Why aren't you downstairs?"

"Huh?"

Louder ... "WHY AREN'T YOU DOWNSTAIRS?"

"Aww ... I don't like hanging around all those old people."

"They have cake and ice cream."

"What did you say?"

"WHY WON'T YOU GET A HEARING AID??"

"I don't need one ... I hear fine ... besides, they just cleaned out all the wax in my ears and gave me drops yesterday."

Debbie almost passed out.

"Joel ... Listen ..." Sam always starts thoughts this way. "Do you have Nikki's phone number?"

Debbie (getting a little color back in her face). "Sam ... she has the same number that she had when she was here."

"Oh ... do you have it?"

I said ... stupidly, "It's in your phone ... I put it in there last year."

"Oh ... can you give it to me, then?"

"Sure."

"I wanted to thank her for sending me the pictures. I show them to everybody. You know I can't believe it ... I'm the only grandfather who has a grandchild who's a doctor ... I am so proud ....

Debbie and I smilled. "That's very nice..."

"I am so proud ... of me."

"Of you?"

"Yes ... of me. She's my granddaughter and she's a doctor."

We both stifle the laughter to the point of choking.

Sam rubs his forehead. "Joel ... listen ... you know that gal who's up for the Judge position?"

"You mean Kagan, the Supreme Court nominee?" How I knew what he meant was frightening to me.

"Yeah."

I suspected he heard her remarks about the Jewish religion so I asked .. "You heard her comment about being in a Chinese Restaurant for Christmas like the rest of the Jews?"

"No ... she said that?"

"Yeah. Pretty funny huh?"

" ... hey ... listen ... you think she's a lesbian?"

I didn't see that one coming. "I really haven't thought about it."

Debbie changed the subject. "So Sam ... what have you been doing lately?"

"Nothin' ... we went to Olive Garden ... that was nice. They just took the people who walk ... no wheelchairs ... "

Silence.

Sam continued. "Oh ... we had a belly dancer too."

"At Olive Garden?"

"No downstairs ... she was some hot broad ... "

We both nodded.

"Joel ... listen ... you remember Chris Owens?"

"The stripper in New Orleans?"

"She is not a STRIPPER. She is an exotic dancer."

"Oh ... excuse me ... the exotic stripper?"

"Joel ... she is NOT a stripper."

"Well ... she's about 90 years old and still on Bourbon Street ... I HOPE she's not a stripper now."

"She's a fine woman. I know her and I know her husband ... he was a cheerleader at Warren Easton with me."

I am not making this up, folks ... he really said it. I had no reply for this one either.

"Well ... Dad ... we really gotta get back to work ..."

"Oh ... well thanks for coming ... good to see you guys."

We exchanged good byes and headed out the door ... behind me I heard ...

"Oh ... Joel .... LISTEN ...."

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Mardi Gras Momberg

Today is Fat Tuesday AND Mardi Gras day in New Orleans

I wrote a post six years ago that had special significance for Fat Tuesday and a little Jewish boy named Joel.. I reposted it:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME


I was born in New Orleans at the Hotel Dieu. Yes, it was a hospital ... at least that what I was told. It was a Catholic hospital and for a little Jewish baby it was a slight disadvantage.

Interesting fact one:
The doctor who delivered me was actually a famous jazz musician named Dr. Edmund Souchan.

Interesting fact two:
I was born on Mardi Gras Day ... March 1st.

Interesting fact three:
Dr. Souchan's daughter was Queen of Rex (the Krewe which parades on Mardi Gras day and to be chosen Queen is one of the highest honors in New Orleans) that morning.

Interesting fact four:
He missed the parade because I was being delivered.

Painful fact one (and this is why I was disadvantaged):
The nuns at the hospital (and the doctor) failed to "tag" me as a Jewish baby who would be circumsized on the seventh day. Who knows ... maybe Souchan was mad at me because he missed the parade.


Painful fact two:
They circumsized me right after birth.

VERY painful fact three:
My dad had me circumsized AGAIN on the seventh day. The Bris!

Okay, I know what you are thinking. How MUCH did they cut off the second time right?

No one will tell me .... but I've used that for sympathy ever since.


Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...