Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from December, 2016

Sunshine Boys ... Sammy Is Smiling Up There

Watched the Sunshine Boys last night.

Oddly enough I think it was the news about Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher that had me missing my Dad who passed away last year. Walter Matthau is about as close to being with Sammy as you can get. Sammy IS Willie Clark ... half of the vaudeville pair of Lewis and Clark, with George Burns as his partner.

If you've never seen it ... put it on your to do list for 2017. Even though the movie was produced over 40 years ago, the writing and the delivery is as fresh and funny as it was back then. 

Clark's nephew Ben is also his manager. In one scene, he visits his uncle with an offer to appear with Lewis in an ABC special but Clark refuses to ever speak to him again.

Ben grabs his chest and says, "I get chest pains every Wednesday when I come to visit."

Willie says, "So visit me on Tuesday."   

In another scene, Willie (who has a constant battle with his nurse) asks her, "How old is a woman like you?"

"I&…

My Little Baby Is Having a Little Baby!!

How can it be?

Alissa was just a baby a few years ago and now she is expecting a baby of her own. Can't believe that the little girl who ran around the house in a genie outfit with little plastic slippers is now 33 years old and is four moths pregnant. Crazy.

And on Christmas day we all experienced the latest pregnancy fad: A Gender Reveal Party. For those of you who are like me (unaware of the latest fads) Gender Reveal is where the family and friends gather together to find out what sex the baby is ... as well as mom and dad.

In our case, we gathered at Alissa and Nate's while her friends dressed their little dog, Riley in the appropriate color and tied balloons around his waist as we waited outside for the big show.

Note: A few months ago, Riley had his own "reveal" when Nate sent his DNA out to be analyzed. It came back positive that he was ... a dog.

When we were all set, Riley ran out of the door adorned in baby blue.

It's a boy!

Congrats to my beautiful…

Checking It Twice!

I really hate shopping.

Surely, many of you feel the same, especially this time of year. I really shouldn't complain. Debbie does the mega shopping for the family. I can't say she enjoys it but she's really good at it ... she's focused, organized and she approaches it like a military operation. She does it old school with written lists, multiple stores, wrapping everything herself. There are no Amazon drones flying over our house.

Today, I finished up "my list".

Yes ... I have a list too. Don't be too impressed. I didn't create it. Debbie gives me the list. It's all the things that she wants. Kinda like telling Santa ... on steroids. The list has gift size, color, where to get it, even what floor its on and a hand drawn map of the inside of the store (kidding, if its available I use the actual printed floor plans). Oh and she usually includes the factory number too.

Our very first conversation about this years ago went something like this:

Me &q…

When the Jews Come Out For Christmas

Love this time of year.

Last week we had our annual holiday staff party at World of Beer. The theme was holiday hat decoration. Christine in our office actually did all the artistic work for our hats. Mine was a crowd favorite ... Star of David with silver trimmings. Many people thought I was a Dallas Cowboy fan.

Growing up in New Orleans to Jewish parents (well a Jew and a half) ... Christmas did not visit our house. Hanukkah was the holiday of choice. Eight crazy days of presents.

Not sure presents would be accurate. Gifts? tchatchkis? um ... cheap stuff? One year I got a dreidel (a top with Hebrew letters on it.)

Dreidels are the first step to a lifetime commitment of gambling. Spin the top for cash ... well, loose change. Children take turns and follow the direction that the letter gives you.

Each letter tells you what to do. Take half the pot, take all the pot, match the pot, share the pot, etc.

Sometimes you use gelt.

That's Hanukkah chocolate money. We used to get gelt as …

All That Glitters ...

Don't get me wrong ... I love getting presents as much as the next guy.

But whoever invented the stuff called "glitter" is a sadist. There is nothing about glitter that could be considered attractive. I'd put it in the category of tacky, annoying, childish and dangerous.

Glitter sticks on everything except what you originally put it on. I had a gift on my car seat that I had picked up from my office.  Close by was a folder that contained a donor agreement that I was presenting that afternoon. I was unaware that the wrapping paper and bow were covered with glitter. Even though the folder was a foot from the gift, it was covered with glitter when I arrived at my appointment.

I tried to wipe it off (stupid amateur  mistake). Yes it was now on my hands, my suit and in my eyes. Ever get that stuff in your eyes? Man!

I walked in to the appointment looking like I spent the afternoon with a team of pole dancers.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe you ... my readers ... love glit…

(Old) Boys' Night Out

Thursday night was "Boys Night Out".

Nine of us met at BJs restaurant for drinks, a meal and then ... a movie: "Bad Santa 2". None of our wives were interested in the movie. In fact, I think they were relieved that we all wanted to go see it together.
Started out with a lot of loud jokes, insults and bad behavior. We have all known each other long enough to pick on sensitive areas. Ray's cheap, Doug's voice is loud, Mark's bald, Tom has a nasty gas problem ... you get the picture. 
Sex and defecation are universal targets.

About 15 minutes after we sat down, the conversation changed to what all old guys talk about. Nope ... not good looking women or athletic prowess ... we all talk about each other's medical issues,

Back problems, blood thinners, urinary issues and colonoscopies were popular themes. A few of us are frequent fliers so we could really embellish tales about stuff like what happens when you get a catheter inserted before and pulled out…