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Showing posts from September, 2010

Turn and Cough

"Good morning Mr. Momberg. My name is Dr. Smith ... you may call me Adam."

I was once again staring into the face of a baby faced medical student ... whose name I have changed to protect the innocent (me) and of course Doogie Howser. Each time I visit my Internist, he is shadowed by yet another a new medical student. They all go through the same routine: acting like real doctors and asking the same inane questions that the REAL doctor will repeat 15 minutes later. Of course, I understand the drill ... the doctors are part of the university teaching staff and their students learn by treating patients. 
This one actually gave me permission to call him Adam.  "So ... I see that your blood pressure is a little high. I am concerned about that." "You are, Adam?" "Yes ... I think we need to revisit your medications." "Well ... Adam ... I prefer you didn't. My pressure is normally in this range and ... " "In looking at your chart, I see that…

Something Smells Fishy

I was supposed to go fishing today at 5:30AM.

What's up with that?

I know the answer that you fishermen will give ... "Hey dummy ... Fish like to feed early in the morning. That's the best time to drop your line."  Is that true? Do fish really feed earlier in the morning?

I checked.

And guess what? Today, the best time to fish in St. Pete is 9:42AM - 11:42AM. I'm not sure why fish care about 42 minute segments ... but they apparently do.

By the way ... I had lots of time to check because I overslept. I really got up at 4 AM although my buddies will say I'm lying ... and then ... I fell back asleep until my brother in law Tom called my cell phone at 5:38 to tell me that they were shoving off and ended with a few expletives that the rest of the crew screamed in the background.

I always have problems waking up early in the morning.

I remember when we went to Alaska to fish for salmon a couple of years ago. There was no need for a clock. It was always daytime. The…

Skip ... Call Up Lou This Morning

Wrote a little song about the USF/UF game yesterday at the Swamp.

Sing along .... The melody is from Skip to my Lou.




Got the first score right away.
First half really went our way.
Then the game kinda got away...


Skip ... Call Up Lou This Morning.


BJ looked good most of the day.
Then he threw a pass away.
Oh well ... there's not much to say


Skip ... Where Is Lou This Morning?


Guess it helps to have a guy
Like Demps who really flat out flies
It's just the truth no alibis


Skip ... Don't Be Blue This Morning.


Noon games really bring the heat.
Fans were sweating in their seats.
Oh I forgot ... I was in a Suite.






SKIP ... WE'RE WITH YOU THIS MORNING!

Oy

Yesterday was Rosh Hashanah.

That's New Year's Day ... for those non-Jews reading this. Jews of course know this ... The Cohens or Levys or Rosenblatts or others who have Jewish last names ...

WELL .... THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THAT RULE: The CFO at All Children's Hospital has a last name of Stenberg ... he's about as gentile as they come. And there was Candy Stein from Ohio ... also a shiksa.

Anyway ... I spent RH with my Dad ... Sam.

He and his buddy Izzy were sitting in the back of the social room at Menorah Manor with the visiting semi-rabbi leading the service. I say semi because he's not a real rabbi but knows his stuff ... and he's free. The last rabbi was fired for sleeping with one of the staff members. He rode a motorcycle to work and looked just like Lloyd Bridges.

As the new semi rabbi sings ... Sam and his friend Izzy, who of course can't hear a thing, decide to complain loudly.

Izzy, "Sam ... can you hear what this guy is saying?"

Sa…

"Betcha Can't Hit Me With A Quarter!"

Remember the good old days when a homeless guy would come up to your car and spray the windshield with some kind of Grade D Windex solution before the light changed?

Well ... The newer version of jobless/homeless wear brightly colored orange vests, hang out in the middle of the busiest intersections in St. Petersburg and apparently own a company that manufactures cardboard signs with crayon sayings like "Haven't worked ... Need food" or "Bless you I'm a vet" or "The dog ate my homework" (oops ... Sorry ... That was my sign in grade school).

I know I seem to write about these folks every so often in my blog ... Especially the creative ones that walk the streets and have more interesting stories like ... "My car broke down in Nevada and I walked across the country trying to get 68 cents for gas."

They hold a special fascination for me.

Hey ... just passed an orange vest in Tampa .... I guess he and his lovely wife drove their BMW across t…

Orange Peelyuns

My middle daughter, Alissa, is in town and I aked her the other night as we were driving if she remembered  Mr. "Spahkull".

She giggled. "Sure I remember him. He visited my preschool."

"Yep ... And you said Mr Spahkull had some orange peelyuns with him. I wanted to call your teacher to find out what the heck a Mr. Spahkull was and why he was carrying orange peelyuns around."

Alissa laughed so hard she spit out her drink. "You eventually figured it out."

"Only after I ran into Mrs. Weissman and she told me that Mr Spahkull was really Mr. Sparkle from the City Sanitation Department ... The guy who wears the trash can costume and can't pronounce most words in the English language ... Like orange peels."

"That be him!"