Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Deja Vu All Over Again

Flashback!

I brought back my post-surgical pirate pretender patch today. It wasn't just to play dress up ... I actually used it.

You see ... I had my first cataract surgery today. Yes I am now officially old as dirt. Cataracts. Can you believe that?

Well ... the world famous St. Luke's with the equally world famous Dr. James Gills (III) ... known as Pit ... was my destination.

Today, I was to get my left eye worked on. They do them one at a time ... I wondered if it was in case it doesn't work the other eye is saved, but they say it's so that you have mobility while the first one heals.

I'll go with that.

So at 10:40 AM we checked in (poor Debbie chauffeured me again to yet another medical/surgical
procedure).

What an incredible process  ... choreographed and orchestrated like a major production. Pre-op visit a couple of weeks ago was equally impressively organized.

My first stop today was with a primary care physician who did a physical, explained the process ahead and literally escorted me to the next stop. A short ride on the elevator brought us to surgery check in where were were given more materials, promised a gift certificate for the dining room and escorted to another waiting room.  

My name was called, I entered into a treatment room and was given eye drops to prep. The nurse wrote a big YES on my forehead over the eye that was to be operated on.

Back to the waiting room when my name was called and I was escorted to the business office where they collected what was not covered by insurance.

Next stop was surgery. Another series of numbing drops, IV stick, a dose of happy juice and before you knew it (an hour and a half later) I was in the operating suite with Dr. Gill.

More happy juice ... and the actual process of removing the cataract and replacing it with a brand new lens that would give me better vision than I ever had in my life began!

It took 5 minutes.

I say that because I DID remember and I DID stay awake during the procedure. Kinda freaked me out but there was no pain and no discomfort ... really easy.

We got our going home instructions like how to safely shower, which eye drops to take over the next couple of months to prevent infection, and I even got my own set of BLUBLOCKERS for the trip home.

Whew!

I can't use the left eye for 24 hours (that's why I'm temporarily using my patch).

On Friday I get the right eye done ... then I will never use my glasses again!

Oh ... maybe a pair of Fred Sanford cheaters for close up work but I'm ready!! 

Monday, June 19, 2017

New York State of Mind Part 3

Day three started with MOMA and ended with M&M.

The M&M store was a late night visit to stock up on our favorite treat. Judy and Steve make the trip often to get green and gold refills for the candy bowl that Judy keeps outside her office.

We bought the new flavor ... caramel! Tastes like a milk dud covered in chocolate. It was a great end to our day.
Just before that we enjoyed the musical Groundhog Day.

Funny stuff. The lead actor gave Bill Murray a run for his money. The rest of the cast was very good as well. The story was identical to the original movie and the new music added an interesting element.

So before we went to the play we got a bite to eat at a little place called Briciola.

When I say little I mean LITTLE. We were sitting with about ten of our new best friends on one long table in a room the size of Debbie's closet. I visited the bathroom which was smaller than the ones that are on airplanes and the sink was behind the toilet (a reach over).

Good news was the food was excellent.

Continuing to tell the story backward ... MOMA visit was that morning. Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit was very interesting.

Deb was dizzy that morning (no ...I mean vertigo). She missed MOMA but got breakfast in bed.

Telling this story backward was like Groundhog Day or yaD gohdnuorG.

Confused? Well so am I. Good to be home!  

Saturday, June 17, 2017

New York State of Mind Part 2

Day 2 was dreary, rainy and cold.

Actually, it was quite appropriate for our visit to Ground Zero, one of the worst tragedies to ever hit the US. The Freedom Tower majestically stood watch ... climbing straight through the clouds.

Surrounding the sight were the Reflecting Pools that were inscribed with the names of every victim who lost their lives on 911.

Just steps away was the 911 Museum ... built over the actual Twin Towers and exposing some of the original walls and flooring of the buildings.

Earlier, we had visited the architect of the memorial, Daniel Libeskind who originally sketched the design of the sight on a napkin. His studio was down the block and he was such a fascinating guy to talk to.

We rested for a couple of hours, got a bite to eat and walked down Broadway to see Hamilton. Looking up at the stage from the third row was surreal (knowing that I might have to get a second job to pay for the tickets).

What a great play. Seriously, its not over-hyped ... it was everything that it has been built up to be. The music, the staging, the historic significance, humor, drama ... all in one great package. Note: If you are going to see it, make sure you listen to the soundtrack ahead of time. I did, thanks to that tip from Steve Greenbaum and it was incredibly helpful in understanding the lyrics.

Speaking of Steve, we all headed to Juniors after the play to eat cheesecake.

Delicious.

Tomorrow ... MOMA and Groundhog Day!    

New York State of Mind Part 1

Debbie and I flew to New York yesterday for a biz/pleasure combo trip.

At the airport, Deb had a momentary melt down.

"Oh no ... I think I forgot my ID."

"Did you check your wallet?" I asked.

"I NEVER bring my wallet."

"Um ... why not?" I asked stupidly.

"Hello! Because it's too heavy."

As I watched her struggle with her three bags ... TWO of which are big purses ... I just had to ask ... "You mean heavier than those bags?"

"Never mind ... it's right here in my convenient slim carrier."

I am so glad she found it before the long explanation of the weight of the wallet vs the weight of the other bags ensued. Of course I was the one who asked the question ... and so we were off to the Big Apple!

First stop was the NFL headquarters where my old buddy Tod Leiweke, COO of the NFL, hosted our New York USF Alumni for a cocktail reception.

We talked about our Unstoppable Campaign (which is breaking records and this month will exceed ONE BILLION DOLLARS in donations ... okay ... I had to brag). Tod was campaign co chair for a few years when he was in Tampa with the Lightning.

Oh ... and very cool ... we even saw the ring that commemorated the Tampa Bay Bucs Super Bowl XXXVI victory.
After that, we ate at The 21 Club just down the street.

Now the things that are unique about the 21 is you can't get in unless you are a member, there are hundreds of jockey statues outside and inside from racetracks around the world and celebrities put all kinds of stuff on the ceiling. Tod is a member so he got the reservations. Apparently everybody from Donald Trump to Alec Baldwin have favorite tables there (although the only semi wannabe celebrity that we saw was a woman who practiced her opera scales as she ate at the table next to us).

But we had lots of fun.

Thanks Tod. What a special night!

Tomorrow we head to Ground Zero, meet the architect who designed it and then see Hamilton for a mere $1,500,000.





Sunday, May 21, 2017

What are FRIENDS for?

Trivia question ... remember these lines?

JOEY: Hey, Ross, I got a science question. If the homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens ... is that why they're extinct?
ROSS: Joey, homo sapiens are PEOPLE.
Joey: Hey ... I'm not judgin'!

When is the last time you watched an episode of Friends?

You really should check out Netflix and watch them ALL. That's what Deb and I are doing. They are every bit as funny as they were thirteen years ago. Sure ... I know six grown people still living together was always a stretch but damn they are funny. Makes you want to be one of them ... you know?

Here are more ...

RACHEL: Hey just so you know ... it's NOT that common. It DOESN'T "happen to every guy" and it IS a bid deal!
CHANDLER: I KNEW IT!

and  ....

RACHEL: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?
ROSS: Yeah.
CHANDLER: I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so ...

then there was ...

MONICA: My motto is get out before they go down.
JOEY: That is so NOT my motto.


FUNNY STUFF HUH?


Sunday, April 9, 2017

WHATSOEVER


Jury Duty: The two words that strike fear in the hearts of many.

For me ... the words had new meaning last Monday when I checked in to the courthouse and took the last seat I could find between a large woman eating cheetos and a skinny little guy who last bathed in 1976. 

I was Juror 1285. I think there were about 300 people there with me although there could have been 3000. I didn't look around. I just focused on my phone (trying hard not to converse with cheetos or Mr. Dirt.)

Here's how this works.

From the big room, potential jurors are called by number in groups of about 30. These groups are herded into individual courtrooms on one of four floors. Seated on benches four abreast, potential jurors face the attorneys for both sides, the plaintive, the defendant and the judge. The judge then explains the process. Questions are asked of each individual as each side listens intently to the answers.  

So ... I was in the fourth group to be called up to the courtroom on the fourth floor (Cheetos and Mr. Stinky were picked earlier). There I was on the first row right in front of a judge I knew well. "Interesting," I thought. "Should I disclose the fact that I know him ...?" Didn't have to wonder long. His first question was (to each of us) "Do you know any of the people involved in this case ... attorneys, defendants or the judge?" He asked us one by one.

"I know you, Judge."

"Yes Mr. Momberg. I'll discuss that with the attorneys." Well, I figured that was it for me. I'll probably be excused along with the chick next to me that kept moaning about day care for her kids even though she worked nights at a bar, the woman who was some kind of accountant who argued about the way the questions were phrased asking the clerk to read them back and the ex attorney on the back row who said he didn't like the plaintiff and already made up the mind that his client was guilty.

Well ... I got three out of four correct.

"Mr. Momberg ... take juror chair number one." Really?

There were seven of us: Dawn, Bob, Shannon, Bill, Joe, Ron and me. For the next five days we would get to know each other well.

Our job was to decide the outcome of a car accident dispute. The Plaintiff claimed that she was violently rear ended by the Defendant causing her to hit another car and giving her permanent injuries to her back and neck. The Defendant claimed that the Plaintiff hit the car in front first then careened violently backward hitting her car and causing both crashes.

So the first couple of days were filled with opening arguments with diagrams and pictures of the cars and the streets ... long winded medical testimony from doctors about the structure of the spine, and the descriptions of injections that the Plaintiff took ... pictures of the Plaintiff before the accident when she was into swing dancing, sculpture, skydiving, and other stuff.

On the first day, Ron (who sat in the back row) fell asleep through two hour long video testimonies. He was the youngest among us and was a military guy who apparently didn't get alot of sleep. I say that because he slept the next day too. Day three ... he was gone. The judge said in court that Ron was dismissed because he was the alternate ... didn't mention the fact that he missed most of what was said.

Throughout the long days of the trial, we were reminded AT EVERY BREAK that we couldn't talk about the case to anyone, anywhere, under any circumstance ... whatsoever. I put whatsoever down as one word because the judge made us say that every time we left the courtroom. Seriously.

We couldn't even talk about the case to each other. So the long hours in the jury room together  were filled with sharing personal facts about each other. I found out that Bob was a retired police officer who was excited to serve on the jury, had a few girlfriends over the years, smokes, and was related to a good friend of mine. Shannon and her hubby wake up every morning at 5 to work out. Turns out that she works out at the same place as my buddy Ray Smith and knows him. Dawn refills her gum dispenser because she likes the original box, lives on the beach and talks to Ray Smith on the way. (That's two friend for Ray ... two more than I thought he even had). Bill is a plumbing contractor who is working on a big house in Sarasota and DOES NOT DO TILE WORK (it's in his contract)  Joe didn't say much (I'm not sure that's even his name).

At the end of closing arguments, we were sent to the Jury Room with bound evidence books and instructions to make a verdict. The first thing we had to do was pick a Foreperson (Which Bob immediately volunteered for.) Then we had to decide whether the Plaintiff was hit from behind or careened backward (DUH. Easy one ... she was hit). Simple calculations on medical care past and future gave us the amount we awarded her and then we added on Pain and Suffering ... an hour and a half later we were done.

We knocked on the door ... headed back to the courtroom where the judge asked if we had reached a verdict and we said in unison ... WHATSOEVER! 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Mr. Coffee Colored Cadillac



I've been home for a couple of days with a cold/flu/allergy/small pox ... whatever ... so I've had time to get back to writing posts for my blog.

To those who actually read my posts (all three of you), I apologize.

As you probably know, Chuck Berry died a few weeks ago. He was 90 years old and one of the most talented musician/ songwriters ever.  "He could play a guitar just like ringin a bell." Of course I would defer to the best guitar players I know ... Mike and George ... to verify Chuck's guitar abilities but I think it's safe to say he was a pioneer in creating the sound we hear today in music.

As my own tribute to the man, I've been listening to his tunes back and forth from work. Since I'm on the road for a good 3 hours a day ... this gives me plenty of time to appreciate his legacy.

Oh ... almost forgot his keyboard player, Johnnie Johnson. The greatest. He actually hired Chuck to play in his band way back in the 50s when his guitar player got sick and never returned.

Chuck had limited experience playing guitar back then but his voice and personality and writing ability immediately made him a force to be reckoned with.  He wrote Maybelline and the Chess Brothers signed him as a solo act. Apparently, he took over the band soon afterward because ... as Johnnie said, "We could get better jobs with Chuck running the band. He had a car and rubber wheels beat rubber heels any day."

Chuck wrote Johnnie B. Goode as a tribute to Johnson referring to Johnnie's behavior when he was drinking. Chuck was a tough leader and insisted the band not drink in the car on the way to jobs. The band complied by sticking their heads out of the window when they were drinking.

I remember seeing Chuck in concert in the early eighties in St. Pete at the groundbreaking of Tropicana Dome. Started out with that famous lick on his guitar ... and then ... he stopped dead in his tracks, staring at someone in the crowd. "If you take your camera out one more time while I'm playing, I'll leave and never come back."

He knew what he wanted.

His lyrics are some of the best ever written. My all time favorite:

NADINE

As I got on a city bus and found a vacant seat,
I thought I saw my future bride walking up the street,
I shouted to the driver hey conductor, you must slow down
I think I see her please let me off this bus
Nadine, honey is that you?
Oh, Nadine
Honey, is that you?
Seems like every time I see you
Darling you got something else to do

I saw her from the corner when she turned and doubled back
And started walkin' toward a coffee colored Cadillac
I was pushin' through the crowd to get to where she's at
And I was campaign shouting like a southern diplomat
Nadine, honey is that you?
Oh, Nadine
Honey, where are you?
Seems like every time I catch up with you
You are up to something new

Downtown searching for 'er, looking all around
Saw her getting in a yellow cab heading up town
I caught a loaded taxi, paid up everybody's tab
Flipped a twenty dollar bill, told him 'catch that yellow cab
Nadine, honey is that you?
Oh, Nadine
Honey, is that you?
Seems like every time I catch up with you
You are up to something new

She move around like a wave of summer breeze,
Go, driver, go go, catch 'er for me please
Moving through the traffic like a mounted cavalier
Leaning out the taxi window trying to make her hear
Nadine, honey is that you?
Oh, Nadine
Honey, is that you?
Seems like every time I see you
Darling are up to something new




   

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Collaterally Speaking!


You know, I just have to say it.

The Academy Awards top movies that won this year were yawners. I should be more politically correct, I guess, but I just don't get it. There's the story about a gay black kid abused by his crack head mother who grows into a gay black man drug pusher and has (big surprise) lots of issues. He barely speaks throughout the whole film. Then there's a film about a sullen janitor who watches his children die in a fire and also barely speaks. And then there's a musical about a tortured piano player who barely speaks but sings and dances.

What's the deal?

Critics LOVED these films. REALLY?  Two of them were like bad reality TV and I felt no empathy for the characters at all and the third was like watching the movie that I really detested when it came out ... Moulin Rouge.

You know the one that critics hated this year?

It's called Collateral Beauty. I saw it at the movie theater and rented it tonight again.

How stupid and classless am I? I think it's one of the best films I ever saw.

Will Smith stars as an ad man who loses his only child to cancer and writes letters to the three abstract elements he blames for her demise: Love, Time and Death. Then he is visited by each in the form of actors hired by his employees.

The rest of the movie is brilliant ... well acted, beautifully written and you will cry your eyes out throughout the whole thing.

Just my opinion, but then again I'm old fashioned. I like movies that ... um ... entertain.