Sunday, July 9, 2017

Great Game ... Someone Tell The Guy Sitting Behind Me

Great game yesterday between the Rays and Red Sox.

Sitting there in the stadium, I felt a mix of euphoria and claustrophobia. My euphoria was brought on by the quality of the game and the quality of my eyesight. Great plays ... and I saw them all. I saw the ball ... CLEARLY. So if an errant pitch or a random foul ball came into the stands, I could clearly see it right before it hit me in the eye and destroyed my vision forever.

Ironically, that comforted me.

My claustrophobia on the other hand was caused by a loud, obnoxious, dorky looking guy in his sixties and another guy named Derek ... sitting right behind me. I only know Derek's name because he used it in every sentence. Loud talker is really a conservative description for this guy. Just ask the ten rows in front of me.

He had comments about every play. The good ones would all make the highlight reel.

"Derek ... that's a HIGHLIGHT reel on ESPN. I'm telling you ... that's a HIGHLIGHT reel play. I bet anything it's on the highlights tonight. Don't you think so Derek?"
"Yeah ..."
"Better BELIEVE it ... how about you buddy (to someone two rows back) Highlight reel right? I can guarantee it."

Every time someone hit a fly ball he said ... "That's it ... HOME RUN!" When they were just pop ups he'd correct himself and say ... "Should of been a home run ... You see Derek ... (he demonstrates) if they got their power behind it like this ...(if he hits me in the back if the head I will KILL him).

 He didn't take a breath the entire time. I know about his entire family ... his mom for example ...

"You know, Derek ... mom has a fear of poverty."
"I don't think its a fear ..."
"Derek ... it is a fear ... a real fear."
"I think ..."
"Derek listen I know what I'm saying ... she has a REAL FEAR."
"Maybe she just is frugal ..."
"Derek, Derek, Derek ... she's afraid of being poor. It's a FEAR its a real FEAR!"
"If you say so."
"Derek, Derek ... I KNOW so ..."

I wanted to turn around and say ... "DEREK JUST AGREE WITH HIM DAMMIT!" It was like that kid on you tube who says "Linda listen ... Listen Linda ... LEEENDA LISTEN" Except that kid was cute and funny.

Then there was a conversation about the price of the seats.

"You know ... I paid about $50 more for these seats but they're great  ... these seats .. got them on Stubhub  ... I could have gotten other ones ... but I like these ... I don't care about being behind the net at home plate ... I don't care if a ball hits me (OH PLEASE LET A BALL HIT YOU) ..."

I know that he's a car salesman, he is on an investment chat site where he's learning how to invest and was instructing Derek on the fine points of IRAs, and that he dates a nurse ...

"Derek ... are you seeing anyone?"
"Um ... well I have been seeing this girl I met at a bar ..."
"Derek ... if I were you, I'd look for a nurse like my girlfriend (he has a girlfriend???)."
"Well I do know a nurse ..."
"Is she an RN or an LPN?"
"I don't know .."
"Derek ... does she work at a hospital?
"Um"
"...doctor's office?"
"I think ..."
"Is she a physician's assistant?"
"A what?''
"Oh Derek ... you gotta learn these things ... now a physician's assistant makes more money ... and let me tell you what else she does ... (I'll save you the graphic details)."

Thank the Lord it was a fast game ... I don't know if I could have done extra innings. In the 9th, Alex Colome pitched. He apparently didn't like Alex.

"Uh oh Derek ... here he comes ... Colome ... inconsistent ... big mistake ... wouldn't have put him in. What the hell are they thinking? Oh great ... now he walked that guy. They should have taken him out after the first batter. BUM! BUM!"

Colome winds up getting three outs with the bases loaded and wins the game.

"Derek ... SEE I TOLD you when he's on ... he's so GOOD!"

Kill me (or him) NOW.  




  

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Better Call Saul or at least ... Watch Him!

Better Call Saul is the Breaking Bad spinoff that tells the backstory of Saul Goodman, the sleazeball lawyer played by Bob Odenkirk. Deb and I started watching the first two seasons on Netflix this past week when I was home between cataract surgeries.

It is brilliant!

One critic said: "It is already better than Breaking Bad, and has a shot—if it stays this good—at being one of the best television shows ever made ...

Better Call Saul takes the style that made Breaking Bad distinctive—the cinematography, dark comedy, and brashly confident pacing—and elevates it by applying it with more beauty, subtlety, and moral sophistication. "

I'm gonna save all the details about plot and characters and let you be surprised and entertained.

Don't miss it!

Sunday, July 2, 2017

I Can See!

Both eyes are 20/20 ... amazing after Friday's surgery ... so cool. I haven't been 20/20 since ... EVER. I woke up and looked outside and saw things I haven't seen for years. Seriously ... I saw colors, details, definition. I was like a kid!!! I was SO happy!

Then I looked in the mirror.

I was depressed for the rest of the day. 

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Deja Vu All Over Again

Flashback!

I brought back my post-surgical pirate pretender patch today. It wasn't just to play dress up ... I actually used it.

You see ... I had my first cataract surgery today. Yes I am now officially old as dirt. Cataracts. Can you believe that?

Well ... the world famous St. Luke's with the equally world famous Dr. James Gills (III) ... known as Pit ... was my destination.

Today, I was to get my left eye worked on. They do them one at a time ... I wondered if it was in case it doesn't work the other eye is saved, but they say it's so that you have mobility while the first one heals.

I'll go with that.

So at 10:40 AM we checked in (poor Debbie chauffeured me again to yet another medical/surgical
procedure).

What an incredible process  ... choreographed and orchestrated like a major production. Pre-op visit a couple of weeks ago was equally impressively organized.

My first stop today was with a primary care physician who did a physical, explained the process ahead and literally escorted me to the next stop. A short ride on the elevator brought us to surgery check in where were were given more materials, promised a gift certificate for the dining room and escorted to another waiting room.  

My name was called, I entered into a treatment room and was given eye drops to prep. The nurse wrote a big YES on my forehead over the eye that was to be operated on.

Back to the waiting room when my name was called and I was escorted to the business office where they collected what was not covered by insurance.

Next stop was surgery. Another series of numbing drops, IV stick, a dose of happy juice and before you knew it (an hour and a half later) I was in the operating suite with Dr. Gill.

More happy juice ... and the actual process of removing the cataract and replacing it with a brand new lens that would give me better vision than I ever had in my life began!

It took 5 minutes.

I say that because I DID remember and I DID stay awake during the procedure. Kinda freaked me out but there was no pain and no discomfort ... really easy.

We got our going home instructions like how to safely shower, which eye drops to take over the next couple of months to prevent infection, and I even got my own set of BLUBLOCKERS for the trip home.

Whew!

I can't use the left eye for 24 hours (that's why I'm temporarily using my patch).

On Friday I get the right eye done ... then I will never use my glasses again!

Oh ... maybe a pair of Fred Sanford cheaters for close up work but I'm ready!! 

Monday, June 19, 2017

New York State of Mind Part 3

Day three started with MOMA and ended with M&M.

The M&M store was a late night visit to stock up on our favorite treat. Judy and Steve make the trip often to get green and gold refills for the candy bowl that Judy keeps outside her office.

We bought the new flavor ... caramel! Tastes like a milk dud covered in chocolate. It was a great end to our day.
Just before that we enjoyed the musical Groundhog Day.

Funny stuff. The lead actor gave Bill Murray a run for his money. The rest of the cast was very good as well. The story was identical to the original movie and the new music added an interesting element.

So before we went to the play we got a bite to eat at a little place called Briciola.

When I say little I mean LITTLE. We were sitting with about ten of our new best friends on one long table in a room the size of Debbie's closet. I visited the bathroom which was smaller than the ones that are on airplanes and the sink was behind the toilet (a reach over).

Good news was the food was excellent.

Continuing to tell the story backward ... MOMA visit was that morning. Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit was very interesting.

Deb was dizzy that morning (no ...I mean vertigo). She missed MOMA but got breakfast in bed.

Telling this story backward was like Groundhog Day or yaD gohdnuorG.

Confused? Well so am I. Good to be home!  

Saturday, June 17, 2017

New York State of Mind Part 2

Day 2 was dreary, rainy and cold.

Actually, it was quite appropriate for our visit to Ground Zero, one of the worst tragedies to ever hit the US. The Freedom Tower majestically stood watch ... climbing straight through the clouds.

Surrounding the sight were the Reflecting Pools that were inscribed with the names of every victim who lost their lives on 911.

Just steps away was the 911 Museum ... built over the actual Twin Towers and exposing some of the original walls and flooring of the buildings.

Earlier, we had visited the architect of the memorial, Daniel Libeskind who originally sketched the design of the sight on a napkin. His studio was down the block and he was such a fascinating guy to talk to.

We rested for a couple of hours, got a bite to eat and walked down Broadway to see Hamilton. Looking up at the stage from the third row was surreal (knowing that I might have to get a second job to pay for the tickets).

What a great play. Seriously, its not over-hyped ... it was everything that it has been built up to be. The music, the staging, the historic significance, humor, drama ... all in one great package. Note: If you are going to see it, make sure you listen to the soundtrack ahead of time. I did, thanks to that tip from Steve Greenbaum and it was incredibly helpful in understanding the lyrics.

Speaking of Steve, we all headed to Juniors after the play to eat cheesecake.

Delicious.

Tomorrow ... MOMA and Groundhog Day!    

New York State of Mind Part 1

Debbie and I flew to New York yesterday for a biz/pleasure combo trip.

At the airport, Deb had a momentary melt down.

"Oh no ... I think I forgot my ID."

"Did you check your wallet?" I asked.

"I NEVER bring my wallet."

"Um ... why not?" I asked stupidly.

"Hello! Because it's too heavy."

As I watched her struggle with her three bags ... TWO of which are big purses ... I just had to ask ... "You mean heavier than those bags?"

"Never mind ... it's right here in my convenient slim carrier."

I am so glad she found it before the long explanation of the weight of the wallet vs the weight of the other bags ensued. Of course I was the one who asked the question ... and so we were off to the Big Apple!

First stop was the NFL headquarters where my old buddy Tod Leiweke, COO of the NFL, hosted our New York USF Alumni for a cocktail reception.

We talked about our Unstoppable Campaign (which is breaking records and this month will exceed ONE BILLION DOLLARS in donations ... okay ... I had to brag). Tod was campaign co chair for a few years when he was in Tampa with the Lightning.

Oh ... and very cool ... we even saw the ring that commemorated the Tampa Bay Bucs Super Bowl XXXVI victory.
After that, we ate at The 21 Club just down the street.

Now the things that are unique about the 21 is you can't get in unless you are a member, there are hundreds of jockey statues outside and inside from racetracks around the world and celebrities put all kinds of stuff on the ceiling. Tod is a member so he got the reservations. Apparently everybody from Donald Trump to Alec Baldwin have favorite tables there (although the only semi wannabe celebrity that we saw was a woman who practiced her opera scales as she ate at the table next to us).

But we had lots of fun.

Thanks Tod. What a special night!

Tomorrow we head to Ground Zero, meet the architect who designed it and then see Hamilton for a mere $1,500,000.





Sunday, May 21, 2017

What are FRIENDS for?

Trivia question ... remember these lines?

JOEY: Hey, Ross, I got a science question. If the homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens ... is that why they're extinct?
ROSS: Joey, homo sapiens are PEOPLE.
Joey: Hey ... I'm not judgin'!

When is the last time you watched an episode of Friends?

You really should check out Netflix and watch them ALL. That's what Deb and I are doing. They are every bit as funny as they were thirteen years ago. Sure ... I know six grown people still living together was always a stretch but damn they are funny. Makes you want to be one of them ... you know?

Here are more ...

RACHEL: Hey just so you know ... it's NOT that common. It DOESN'T "happen to every guy" and it IS a bid deal!
CHANDLER: I KNEW IT!

and  ....

RACHEL: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?
ROSS: Yeah.
CHANDLER: I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so ...

then there was ...

MONICA: My motto is get out before they go down.
JOEY: That is so NOT my motto.


FUNNY STUFF HUH?