Permission to Come Aboard ... Mayor?

Gasparilla is today.

It's the Tampa celebration of the legend of Jose Gaspar and his band of pirates as they "reenact" the invasion of Tampa and capture the Mayor. It's also a chance for the city fathers to dress as pirates, shoot guns (not real ones ... thank God), throw beads and get drunk (we need a day for that?). And a chance for their wives to dress as female pirates (who might find work as pole dancers), throw beads and also get drunk.
I took this shot as the Pirate Ship landed at the Civic Center.

Here are some more Gasparilla shots:

Civilian Momberg munching on a hot dog as pirates surrounded the city.

One of the many signs of the Tampa Mensa Chapter's handiwork.

The clever balloon pirate fooling an unsuspecting captive as he fashions balloon handcuffs.

Don't know this pirate couple but suspect he is CEO of some downtown business and she runs a large advertising agency ... just a guess. They both might just be out on bail.

Two wenches who are celebrating their 35th Gasparilla Day.

 Church group out for a stroll.

Boat flag with an important message for the assembled.

My personal favorite : Two fisted drinker ... at 10 AM. 

Blame it on my "Glibido"

Here's a funny for you. This was sent to me last week in an email.

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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.


4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 


5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.


6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high


8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


9. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)


11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.


12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.


13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web


16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

On Sunday We ... ROCKED

If you haven’t seen Million Dollar Quartet … see it.

I should have said if you haven’t HEARD Million Dollar Quartet  … hear it! Both the music and the musicians are superb. The guy who played Jerry Lee Lewis was unbelievable.  They were all very good … but he was by far the best.

The theater was “Off-Broadway” … New World Stages ... the perfect venue … small and intimate with a kick ass sound system.

Oh, I almost forgot … there was a pre-show concert behind us. I thought it was part of the show because I've never heard anything like this in an audience before.  A lady in the very last seat of the back row went nuts.She screamed to her husband/partner/embarrassed seatmate.

“NO! I AM NOT SITTING HERE!!! I CAN’T!!! I WON’T!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE! THIS TICKET SUCKS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Now, I have been known to exaggerate (Surprised, huh?). Truly … I have not done so here. She screamed ... screamed for a good 5 minutes until she finally shut up and sat down without another sound.

I think her husband snuffed her out. 

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Today was shopping day.

For me, it took so long it was a like a lifetime. We stayed in Macy’s for a whole hour. To Debbie it was not enough time to even do a reconnaissance mission. I bought a coat. It was 75% off of whatever ridiculous price they said it was priced at … something like $5000. So I got a “real deal”.

Debbie “looked at” a pair of boots.

But ... the best part about today was our trip to Sam Ash to check out guitars, keyboards, music sheets, and other great stuff. There was a very cool Kurzweil piano all hooked up and ready to play.

I settled in and did a little Dr. John riff (my apologies to the Doctor). It was only a few minutes of some random chords when I heard a voice from the other keyboard rack say, “That was too short …  keep going …”

He was playing a swing rhythm that rocked.

We traded off for a few minutes … he was VERY good. I know he must’ve been a local musician at the very least. He had the grey ponytail thing going and was wearing a long cashmere coat so I assume he was not the starving kind. He was also buying out the store.

He reached over to shake my hand. In musician speak that means "You didn’t screw it up TOO badly".  

Who Needs Craig's List?

This morning the weather changed from cold to "freezing your butt off".

I took these pictures from the window of our hotel room. The left side was yesterday morning ... the right side was this morning.

Snow. Beautiful snow.

Until we went outside ... then it was just slush and ice and we were slipping and sliding down Times Square.

We met up with Alissa at a brunch place called Laconda Verde. Cool place ... we ordered palenta waffle, zucchini frittata, lemon curd pancakes ... it was delicious.

Looked for the owner, Robert De Niro, but he didn't show. Can you believe it?    

We visited a museum this afternoon that was really extraordinary. You can only see it in New York.

The Tenement Museum is located on Orchard Street in the heart of the old garment district. The last owner of this building kept it fairly close to what it was like over 100 years ago when immigrant families lived and worked there.

We took the Sweatshop Tour (the era of the Jewish garment workers).

Harry Levin and his family lived in a small two room apartment with his 6 kids and 4 boarders ... all working around a single sewing machine.

I was very interested in the Levin family for another reason ... that was my mother's maiden name. The guide showed us pictures of his son Max ... Looked just like my grandfather.

Who knows? This might be my inherited apartment!

With the rent that New Yorkers pay now ... it probably rents for $10,000 a week today.

If it IS mine ... I'll give it to Alissa.

She told me that it looked a lot roomier than her present apartment.

That reminds me ... It was embarrassing how she kept putting her clothes in the closet during the tour.

The cap she was wearing is actually 50 years old. She found it hanging on the wall right behind her.

By the way ... The gift shop is a classic. We loved it.

The books had titles like Born to Kvetsh, How to Train a Jewish Dog and Be a Mensch not a Schmuck.

I'd go back to this museum any time.

There were three more tracks that we didn't have time to see and a separate outdoor tour segment that was not offered today because of the weather.

We left the tour to get ready for the play we have tickets for ... Million Dollar Quartet (the story of Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash). Can't wait!

Hey ... we just passed a billboard that Alissa must have posted ... I HAVE TO LOOK INTO THAT TENEMENT APARTMENT!