Sunday, December 9, 2018

Babies Everywhere!

Grandkids everywhere!

Fun day in the park with all the kids and grands as we celebrated the holidays and the upcoming birth of the two baby girls ... one for daughter Alissa and hubby Nate and the other for son Josh and daughter in law Theresa.

Check out the matching bellies!

Friday, December 7, 2018

GIVE SAMMY A HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

There’s still time. Order today and I’ll sign a copy (hey ... my autograph has been valued at $2.34 on the open market).

Sammy is the story of 86 year old Sammy Levine, desperately unhappy with his life at Star of David nursing home who dreams of taking one last road trip with his wife Esther (who presently resides in an urn on his shelf).

Sammy’s odyssey begins and ends in his hometown of New Orleans and includes the bucket list of all bucket lists ... long buried secrets, unfinished business, a cast of feisty characters, laughter, suspense, twists and turns ... a coming of age story that will make you smile!

Order today!

Monday, December 3, 2018

ORDER SAMMY HERE!


For those who can’t make the book signings ... all my out of town friends who have been patiently waiting for signed copies ... you can order here!

I will send you a copy today.

Amazon and Barnes and Noble will soon carry it but in the meantime ... ENJOY! 

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Lettuce Romaine Calm (Revised)

So tonight, Debbie and I were headed out to dinner after debating which of the half dozen or so restaurants we usually visit sounded the most worthy of our presence.

There was something different about Debbie tonight when she slipped into the car. Was it her hair? A new style or color? No. New clothes? Don’t think so. Of course, who am I fooling? I’d never know. Maybe it was the perfume. Naw ... she smelled the same.

Wait a minute.

She was carrying a plastic ziplock bag. That was it. New purse design? Nope there was something green inside ... was it ... “Lettuce? Are you bringing lettuce to the restaurant?” I asked.

“No silly. “

“Not lettuce? ”

“Well yes it is lettuce. Romaine lettuce to be exact. But I’m not bringing it to the restaurant. I thought we’d swing by Publix so I could get a refund.”

“Refund? For romaine?”

“Yes. Ecoli ... you know.”

“Yeah I heard. But why don’t you just throw it away? How much are you gonna get back on that one lettuce leaf?”

“I dunno. Maybe $4-$5.”

“Just throw it away.”

“You see? Just like you to just throw away $5.”

“I mean they are really giving you $5 for that disgusting looking lettuce leaf. “

“Just drive,”

Well, we wound up dining at a Mexican restaurant (serenaded by a mariachi band who trapped us in a booth). Debbie ordered (duh) a salad. Of course she asked everyone from the poor waiter who spoke no English to the manager if there was any romaine lettuce in her salad. When she was satisfied there was none ... she asked for a to go box. We talked to some friends we ran into, drove home an hour and a half later and forgot the stupid romaine which is now rotting in my car.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Close Call

I was just putting the finishing touches on my new novel, Sammy, which will be available to order in November (shameless self promotion!) ... when I started thinking about some of the characters in my past life. One character I've actually written about in the past just popped into my head. It's a repeat story but I hope you enjoy it ... again.

When I was a Freshman at LSU, our dorm was set up like a suite with two adjoining double rooms and a common kitchen and living room. "Suite" really makes it sound much fancier than it was. Actually, living room makes it sound much fancier than it was. The walls were cinder block and the living room was about 100 square feet. I don't think four of us could even stand up in there at one time.

One of the four guys in our suite was the place kicker for the LSU Tigers. His name was Phil and he was from Bogalusa, Louisiana. He had the bed next to mine. Phil was about 6'8" and weighed well over 300 pounds. He was a big country boy. Pretty soft spoken and very polite, Phil really didn't say a whole lot for the first few months we were together.

One night, I got to know Phil much better ... up close and personal.

It was probably 2 in the morning when I awoke and found Phil sitting on my bed staring at me. He was naked. I couldn't move. In addition to be frozen in fear, Phil was also sitting on my leg.

"Um ... hi Phil," I managed to mutter.
Silence.
"Phil? Something I can do for you?" THAT was a stupid thing to say.
Silence.
"Can't sleep?"
Phil stood, looking right through me.
"Sometimes I have trouble sleeping too."
Silence.

Phil slowly turned and got into his bed.

I stared at him the rest of the night. He turned over and fell fast asleep. The next day, Phil said nothing about the night before. I didn't either; but for the next few weeks I never took my eyes off him.

It wasn't until about a month later that Phil shared a secret that he had been wanting to tell me.

"Hey Momberg."
"Yeah, Phil. What's up?" I managed to ask.
"I've got this problem I never told you about."
(Here it comes)
"Well ... I have been known to walk in my sleep."
(Thank God!)
"Just in case. I get out of bed, don't try to wake me up. Okay?"
"Absolutely! Thanks for the heads up."

After a while, I got up the nerve to ask one last question. "Say Phil ... do you ever wear pajamas?" 

Saturday, September 22, 2018

I Lost It!

That's right ... I lost it. But I found it again. Took me a few weeks and a loss of more hair but it's back.

By the way, I am talking about my website domain.

I've owned this site for almost 20 years. I pay about $10 a year for it. Google controls it and I've never had any concerns from day one.

The world changed  three weeks ago.

That's when I opened up my website to find a message that said "this site is available for sale". REALLY? I was panicked. I looked for a number to call.

There was none.

There were 153 options to contact GSuite (Google) technical help. ALL of them involved manually typing on your computer through your account. MINE WAS CLOSED. So what do you do when you don't have an account anymore because someone made an error with your website? I left messages on line, and like everyone else, waited days until a robot answered me with automatic messages. Finally ... I kid you not ... I was talking on line via text to a tech support person who told me the only way to get noticed is by TWEETING about GSuite and how disappointing the service was. So I did.

It worked!   

I got a reply immediately from a real person and a real phone number. It gets better. I was told that my new service was on Go Daddy. Go Daddy? What's a Go Daddy? I wasn't aware that these providers contract out to others on your behalf without your knowledge. So I was sent to them and they informed me that my site had been bought! I couldn't believe that this was happening. Apparently my account had expired and no one contacted me. When this happens, the site becomes available for anyone to purchase. They said someone else claimed it, and for only $69 they could TRY to buy it back for me. But ... they cautioned ... sometimes these site "trollers" buy these sites and then resell for ridiculous amounts of money.

I was in the middle of Domain Hell.

Just as I was ready to give up, I connected with someone who ... believe it or not ... knew what they were doing. Sad world when you get really excited to talk to someone who can actually tie their own shoes but that's where I was.

He told me that whoever gave me the information that my site was resold was mistaken. He painstakingly took me through the process of transferring my account to a new one that was secure and helped me upload my old information.

YES, THERE IS A GOD!

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Princess Grace's Diary

We surprised our little princess, Grace on Friday with a last minute visit to Savannah. She and her BFF Stella had a joint princess birthday party.

It was of course no surprise to Deb and me that the trip had a few surprises for us, too.

It started out with a light show at the airport (we chose to fly rather than drive the 12 hours back and forth for one day). Lightning strikes were coming fast ... so the tarmac was closed until it settled down. We had to get to Atlanta in time to catch what had become the LAST flight of the night to Savannah at 11:20 PM.

We made it ... barely ... and fell asleep at 2 AM.

Up at 8 and out the door via Uber to The Landings (a mere 45 minute drive) and just in time to see this adorable duo.

Big brother Cole was  one of the "hosts".

Pony rides were there for the guests.

Matching Princess cakes (of course).

Lots of fun.

At about 2, Deb and I headed back to the airport with Nikki driving and made it in PLENTY of time to find out that there were no seats on any flights to Atlanta due to the disrupted service.

So ... we rented a car and drove home.

I'll save that story for another day!