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Showing posts from June, 2010

Do Over: What Do YOU Feed Your Babies?

It's the end of the week. Time for reflection and time for rest.

I'm recycling some of my favorites ... and hope they will become yours.Published December 27, 2009

When he was born, my father-in-law took one look and said to me,"Put a visor on this kid and give him a cigar and you've got a helluva blackjack dealer."

That was Josh.

His voice turned raspy at a young age ... so he always told stories just like he was an old man. Speaking of stories ... his would go on forever because he competed for "stage time" with his sisters. Alissa would tell her favorite story "The Wide Mouth Frog" (about a frog who met other animals and asked "What do you feed your babies?")

When his turn came around, he would combine details from every story he'd ever heard ... "Once upon a time there were three bears ... who asked Mrs Alligator, What do you feed your baby ... and then Goldilocks told the wolf that .... um ... there were ... um ...&quo…


We went to the Rays game last night. We won, by the way ... 5-3 against the Arizona Diamondbacks.

It's been a tough series of games after our unprecedented record. We had the best record in baseball for the entire season ... until a few weeks ago.

I looked for Manager Joe Maddon but he was relatively quiet this game.

On Thursday, however, he wasn't. Joe did an amazing job of arguing a balk call against Matt Garza. If you don't follow baseball and don't know what a balk is ... you are not alone. No one apparently does.
Here's the rule:
A motion made by the Pitcher to deliver the ball to the bat without delivering it, except the ball be accidentally dropped, or The ball be held by the Pitcher so long as to delay the game unnecessarily, or Any motion to deliver the ball, or the delivering of the ball to the bat by the Pitcher when any part of his person is upon ground outside the lines of his position. When after being once warned by the Umpire, the Pitcher continues…

Home Movies

I've been writing a novel for over 20 years.

There are probably two dozen drafts on my computer. I don't even open any of them up any more ... because I have gotten so lost from one version to the next. When I started, the plot was easy to follow:

Buddy Rosen, Kindergarten teacher, uses old home movies to teach his class. He buys them at garage sales and uses them as "story starters" with his young students. One day, Buddy buys a box of movies from the flea market ... and when he shows it to his class ... he realizes they were his own movies that were lost when he was a child. He recognizes all but one reel, the last one. His Father and Mother were both much older. Interestingly, they both "died" when they were in their 30s ... Buddy was still a little boy. What follows is a series of plot twists, love affairs, murders and good old fashioned chase scenes. There are crooked politicians,  smart detectives, hometown rubes, bar girls ... just about everything yo…

Do Over: Growing Up (Quickly) In New Orleans

It's the end of the week. Time for reflection and time for rest.
I'm recycling some of my favorites ... and hope they will become yours.Published August 22, 2009
New Orleans is an interesting place to spend one's childhood ... especially during the 50's and the 60's. The neighborhoods were melting pots of color, dialects and humidity. The drinking age was 18 ... which translated to "if you can reach the bar you'll get served a drink". In our neighborhood that meant the Raven (I'll save Raven stories for another time).

We lived in a lot of neighborhoods. In the early years, we lived in the Uptown area (General Pershing St., Octavia St., Belfast St., Jena St. ... for those who know the area). Dad worked for a furniture store in the French Quarter (Holtzman's ... not around anymore) as a salesman and bill collector. In those days, he used to go door to door to collect from customers. I remember as a little boy tagging along when he'd ring door…

It Was Great Talking to You

I spoke to my brother last week.

These days, I do all of the talking. Last week it was about everything from funny stuff we did as kids to funny stuff my kids are doing today. He used to steal my mattress when we shared a room. He thought mine was much more comfortable than his so I let him think I didn't notice. Every night, I'd put some toy soldiers or little train cars under his mattress. He eventually traded back (thinking mine had somehow gotten much more uncomforatble).

We reminisced about Esther... and the tricks that we would dream up to drive her crazy. One night I told Wayne to hide in the closet. I put a pair of his pajama bottoms over the air vent that sat over the floor into the closet. I put slippers over the foot holes so that when the air was on, the pants ballooned and looked like Wayne was stuck in the vent.  At the right time ... I yelled to Mom that Wayne was stuck in the vent. She ran into the room as Wayne started moaning from the closet ... then she lite…

Cyberknife Part 2

Well .... today was my 5th and LAST Cyberknife treatment.

I had a brief graduation ceremony with the staff where they presented me with my official Jason Mask (left).

This mask was specially fitted for me out of warm wax poured over my face during a brain mapping study. We became very "close". Not exactly like Wilson and Tom Hanks ... but then again ... Wilson kept his distance ... My little buddy fit just like Jim Carrey.

It was clamped to the bed and held my head in place for the duration of the treatments.

Looks claustrophobic ... huh?

NOW you know why I used Mother's Little Helpers for the first two sessions!

Once I got used to the mask ... It really wasn't that bad.

The treatments were painless, there were no side effects, no pain ... PLUS I developed super human strength ... I think I even grew a couple of feet in the process ... my color has changed a little ...

But here's the really special part: Somehow ... the cyberknife taught me how to tap dance. An…

Cyberknife Part 1

*** Breaking news ***

Momberg Goes Cyber

I know there are some other things happening in the world ... we're right in the middle of some of them now. USF is at the forefront of the BP oil spill ... in fact we are asking them for $100 million for our consortium of Florida universities to help solve the environmental problems.

But ... my mind is literally in cyberspace.

That's right ... I started my cyberknife treatments this week and I wanted to share in Part One what my carefully laid out preparation process is for of each treatment.

First there are Mother's Little Helpers.

Better known as Xanax, these help me relax as they put on my Friday the 13th Jason mask (be sure to look for this in Part 2), strap me in and zap my brain.

One of these babies and I practically watch the procedure outside my body.

Secondly, there's my IPhone/IPod.

They let me crank up the volume during the procedure as I listen to a variety of tunes from Randy Newman, Irma Thomas, The Little Willies…

Do Over: The Family Jewels Part 2

It's the end of the week. Time for reflection and time for rest. So ... I took a cue from one of my favorite bloggers, Chrissy, who publishes Second Hand Sundays on her very funny blog "I Should've Been a Stripper".

I'm recycling some of my favorites ... and hope they will become yours ... every Sunday.
Published Monday, September 21, 2009

My introduction to neurosis was actually in high school.

Well ... at least, that's when I was old enough to realize that my mom was "different". Before that I thought that everybody's mom didn't allow food to be cooked in the oven (ours was an appliance that was meticulously cleaned daily and was only for "show"). Come to think of it ... so was our living room. No one ever was allowed to sit in there.

Anyway ... my first real neurotic encounter happened at home ... after school. Mom burst into my room grasping her chest and moaning that she was having a heart attack.

I was dumbfounded.


Oh ... Really?

I lost 20 pounds.

Although I don't recommend this diet to my friends (a week and a half in the hospital and numbness on the side of your face that destroys your appetitie) it works! Just look at me now ... and this is just the result of walking every day.

The calls keep coming in ... Men's Health wants me on their cover, some cologne named Obsession wants me to endorse their product and Jared from Subway calls me every ten minutes. Oh ... and there's a new movie with Brad Pitt and they want me to be a body double.

I have to go now ... I have a body waxing and tattoo appointment at noon.


Is My Table Ready?

Okay, I admit it ... I'm feelin' a little down.

This weekend is the All Children's Hospital Telethon, and I'm not there anymore ... gonna watch it on TV like everyone else. It's like watching my baby ... all grown up. I only gave birth ... by the way. There are MANY loving parents who have nurtured and grown the telethon over the years and I couldn't be prouder.

I have 25 years of great stories (many of them off camera).

What a great team: Steph "Do it all" Hall and Ann "Somebody wake Bob Hite up!" Miller were (and still are) the telethon queens. Doing everything from producing the show to raising the money. They gave me a table (It shrunk in size over the years) with my name taped to it. I was the boss ... so they made me feel like I was really doing something important ... smart women.

We had our telethon traditions.

Our first years were broadcast live from Busch Gardens. We'd set up on Saturday morning, unload the truck and head t…