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Showing posts from March, 2013

Jews and Baseball

Title made you smile right?

You and I know that Jews and sports in general make everyone smile. Do you remember the line from Airplane after the stewardess approaches a little old lady with a big stack of magazines and asks:

"Would you like anything to read?"

The little lady smiles and says, "Something light."

The stewardess flips through the magazines, finds a small two pager, offers it to the little old lady and says,"How about this leaflet, 'Famous Jewish Sports Legends.'?

Oh yeah, Jews are not known for their athletic prowess ... business, yes ... arts, yes ... athletics, no. So this afternoon, I was browsing some baseball movies (getting ready for the season) when I saw the title, Jews and Baseball: An American Love Story. GOTTA RENT THIS ONE.

I knew there were a few who played the game like Koufax and Greenberg and Youkilis (although Red Sox fans used to think he was Greek). But Jews didn't have many ... or so I thought.

My buddy Joe Sambito…

And You Thought News Was Depressing

Every so often, I'll scan the pages of HUFFPOST News of the Wierd. Yes, there is such a place (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/weird-news/).

Here are a few gems:



Was He Wearing His Seat Belt?

YORK, Pa. -- Police in Pennsylvania say a dog that was left in an unattended vehicle knocked it into gear and the car struck a pedestrian. West York Police say the accident happened shortly before 11:30 a.m. Tuesday and the pedestrian was found lying in the street. The York Daily Record reports (http://bit.ly/14mziFt) police say the car had been left running when the dog inside pushed it into drive, causing it to slowly start moving. Police say the pedestrian tried to stop the car before it hit a parked truck, but was unsuccessful and was caught between the two vehicles. He hit his head, fell to the ground and was found unconscious. He was treated at a hospital for his injuries.


I wonder how this guy tried to stop the car ... He apparently thought he was Superman, able to leap tall buildings and…

Pinterest Schminterest

Ever heard of Pinterest?

If you are a single female either waiting for marriage, planning a wedding, hoping to land a guy or just nosey about what other women are looking at ... you are probably familiar with it. From what my wife read to me in the paper today, 68% of users fall into this category.

Why do I care (you might ask)?

Because I'm on it. That's right ... I got on Pinterest yesterday because I heard it was a cool new craze and a place to get information for stuff like blogs (That means that apparently whoever is giving me information about this is either ... a. As old as me and out of touch or  ... b. Just hearing the same crap I am.)

Am I getting off Pinterest?

Well ... other than pictures of Matzah phone cases (which my buddy Alan sent me) or a plate of corn and peas labelled PORN, I think I might be done with Pinterest. Besides ... all my wife's friends are "friending" me gushing about my new membership.

Gotta admit, some of it is pretty cool ... li…

SAY WHAT ???

"Say ... Joel ..."

That's how Sammy started the phone call he made tonight. No, hello ... or how are you ... or I just got your message. No, just, "Say ... Joel ..."

"Hi dad. I just called you ... did you get my message?"

The television is turned up so loud in the background I could hardly hear him. "Say ... Joel ... did you get my message?"

"No ... I just asked you ..."

"I got a hearing aid. Aren't you proud of me?"

"That's great ... are you wearing it? Because  I can't hear you with the TV so loud."

"I put it on in the morning and I take it off at night."

"Dad ... turn down the TV ..."

"What's that? Yeah, at first there was a lot of static you know ..."

"Dad ... I can't hear you ... PLEASE turn down the TV."

"I don't mind them at all. I can hear fine now."

"DAD .... TURN DOWN THE TV SET!!!!"

"I'm watching television n…

Bye Big East ... Hello Broderick

How sad it is ... no longer will we have a Big East Basketball Tournament in Madison Square Garden. Instead, there will be a tournament for the Catholic 7 ... the remaining teams ... who will "buy the name" and start a new tradition.

For USF ... it was a really sad time. We lost in the first round of the last tournament on Tuesday night. We were there.

Enough said.

I took a shot of the scoreboard in the first five minutes when we were in the lead 12-8. (the only time)

Debbie fraternized with the mascot ... Rocky. It was the one highlight.

Tonight, there was another high point. We saw a great remake: Nice Work If You Can Get It.

Here's the story ... It's the Roaring Twenties, and a cast of outrageous characters gather in New York to celebrate the wedding of a wealthy playboy. But things don't go as planned when the playboy meets a bubbly and feisty bootlegger who melts his heart.

It stars Matthew Broderick and Kelli O'Hara. Featuring Judy Kaye (Best Featured …

Have you seen my Emmy?

The Emmy arrived a week ago.

I know, I know ... those who work for me have heard just about enough of this Emmy. I mention it often in meetings:

Me- "Here's the itinerary for the upcoming donor trip ... any questions?"
Staff- "Well, I do have a question about travel ..."
Me- "Just a second .... have you all seen MY EMMY?"

If you missed my original Emmy blog, we won in the Children/youth category (12 and under) for A Chicken Named Mac. www,bodytoonups.com

Mike Sexton wrote it and Kevin Riley animated it. I ... um ... just watched it. Actually, I wrote the ones that didn't win this year but Mike and Kevin took pity on me and let me share the prize.


Will you still feed me?

When I get older
Losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?

If I'd been out
Till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

Well ... I reached THAT age yesterday.

I remember when I first heard the song, I thought no way I'll live that long! Sixty-four seemed ancient. Just to be sure, I checked the newspaper today and didn't find me listed in the obits.

Last week I heard that 70 is the new 30 ... not sure who makes those predictions but I'll buy it. Centuries ago, apparently people died of stuff like colds or hangnails or acne and there were no doctors. Health carte reform meant inventing soap.




So, that said,  I must be about 25. That's just the way I feel and look  ... 25 ...  (in dog years).