Friday, February 26, 2021

IPhone, uPhone, We all Phone



There is one word that has been banned from our household: iPhone. 

This wasn’t always the case. But lately, the word has been linked with criminal acts and  cursed repeatedly by Debbie in ways that I am even shocked to hear. Truth be told, Debbie has never liked her  iPhone (since she traded up from an iPhone 3 ... I think 10 years ago) and was always unhappy with the lack of consistency and multiple glitches she encountered ... hence ... the repeated use of colorful language in its description. It has gotten so bad as of late, that even Debbie promised not to mention it anymore. I’ll admit that I encouraged her silence after she cursed me for inferring that her 250,000 saved emails might be to blame for a sluggish performance. It was not healthy for our marriage  

The other morning, Debbie brought it up once more  this time she seemed really shaken when she shared this, “ Okay ... I am REALLY over it  My phone is gone. I can’t find it. It is in some large room hidden by the Apple people and I spent all night looking for it.”

Bad dreams are a sign that it’s time to get that sucker fixed (or delete at least half of your emails.) But that’s just me and I will say no more. 

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...