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Showing posts from 2016

Sunshine Boys ... Sammy Is Smiling Up There

Watched the Sunshine Boys last night.

Oddly enough I think it was the news about Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher that had me missing my Dad who passed away last year. Walter Matthau is about as close to being with Sammy as you can get. Sammy IS Willie Clark ... half of the vaudeville pair of Lewis and Clark, with George Burns as his partner.

If you've never seen it ... put it on your to do list for 2017. Even though the movie was produced over 40 years ago, the writing and the delivery is as fresh and funny as it was back then. 

Clark's nephew Ben is also his manager. In one scene, he visits his uncle with an offer to appear with Lewis in an ABC special but Clark refuses to ever speak to him again.

Ben grabs his chest and says, "I get chest pains every Wednesday when I come to visit."

Willie says, "So visit me on Tuesday."   

In another scene, Willie (who has a constant battle with his nurse) asks her, "How old is a woman like you?"

"I&…

My Little Baby Is Having a Little Baby!!

How can it be?

Alissa was just a baby a few years ago and now she is expecting a baby of her own. Can't believe that the little girl who ran around the house in a genie outfit with little plastic slippers is now 33 years old and is four moths pregnant. Crazy.

And on Christmas day we all experienced the latest pregnancy fad: A Gender Reveal Party. For those of you who are like me (unaware of the latest fads) Gender Reveal is where the family and friends gather together to find out what sex the baby is ... as well as mom and dad.

In our case, we gathered at Alissa and Nate's while her friends dressed their little dog, Riley in the appropriate color and tied balloons around his waist as we waited outside for the big show.

Note: A few months ago, Riley had his own "reveal" when Nate sent his DNA out to be analyzed. It came back positive that he was ... a dog.

When we were all set, Riley ran out of the door adorned in baby blue.

It's a boy!

Congrats to my beautiful…

Checking It Twice!

I really hate shopping.

Surely, many of you feel the same, especially this time of year. I really shouldn't complain. Debbie does the mega shopping for the family. I can't say she enjoys it but she's really good at it ... she's focused, organized and she approaches it like a military operation. She does it old school with written lists, multiple stores, wrapping everything herself. There are no Amazon drones flying over our house.

Today, I finished up "my list".

Yes ... I have a list too. Don't be too impressed. I didn't create it. Debbie gives me the list. It's all the things that she wants. Kinda like telling Santa ... on steroids. The list has gift size, color, where to get it, even what floor its on and a hand drawn map of the inside of the store (kidding, if its available I use the actual printed floor plans). Oh and she usually includes the factory number too.

Our very first conversation about this years ago went something like this:

Me &q…

When the Jews Come Out For Christmas

Love this time of year.

Last week we had our annual holiday staff party at World of Beer. The theme was holiday hat decoration. Christine in our office actually did all the artistic work for our hats. Mine was a crowd favorite ... Star of David with silver trimmings. Many people thought I was a Dallas Cowboy fan.

Growing up in New Orleans to Jewish parents (well a Jew and a half) ... Christmas did not visit our house. Hanukkah was the holiday of choice. Eight crazy days of presents.

Not sure presents would be accurate. Gifts? tchatchkis? um ... cheap stuff? One year I got a dreidel (a top with Hebrew letters on it.)

Dreidels are the first step to a lifetime commitment of gambling. Spin the top for cash ... well, loose change. Children take turns and follow the direction that the letter gives you.

Each letter tells you what to do. Take half the pot, take all the pot, match the pot, share the pot, etc.

Sometimes you use gelt.

That's Hanukkah chocolate money. We used to get gelt as …

All That Glitters ...

Don't get me wrong ... I love getting presents as much as the next guy.

But whoever invented the stuff called "glitter" is a sadist. There is nothing about glitter that could be considered attractive. I'd put it in the category of tacky, annoying, childish and dangerous.

Glitter sticks on everything except what you originally put it on. I had a gift on my car seat that I had picked up from my office.  Close by was a folder that contained a donor agreement that I was presenting that afternoon. I was unaware that the wrapping paper and bow were covered with glitter. Even though the folder was a foot from the gift, it was covered with glitter when I arrived at my appointment.

I tried to wipe it off (stupid amateur  mistake). Yes it was now on my hands, my suit and in my eyes. Ever get that stuff in your eyes? Man!

I walked in to the appointment looking like I spent the afternoon with a team of pole dancers.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe you ... my readers ... love glit…

(Old) Boys' Night Out

Thursday night was "Boys Night Out".

Nine of us met at BJs restaurant for drinks, a meal and then ... a movie: "Bad Santa 2". None of our wives were interested in the movie. In fact, I think they were relieved that we all wanted to go see it together.
Started out with a lot of loud jokes, insults and bad behavior. We have all known each other long enough to pick on sensitive areas. Ray's cheap, Doug's voice is loud, Mark's bald, Tom has a nasty gas problem ... you get the picture. 
Sex and defecation are universal targets.

About 15 minutes after we sat down, the conversation changed to what all old guys talk about. Nope ... not good looking women or athletic prowess ... we all talk about each other's medical issues,

Back problems, blood thinners, urinary issues and colonoscopies were popular themes. A few of us are frequent fliers so we could really embellish tales about stuff like what happens when you get a catheter inserted before and pulled out…

Feeling Blessed

Sitting here watching Macy's Day Parade ... (Are they still in business? Thought they were closing stores. No matter ... they put on a kickass parade.)

Thinking about when we visited New York for this. Once with the kids when they were little ... What a great time! And once with Deb when it was so cold we watched it through the window and on TV.

Feeling so blessed! Happy Thanksgiving to friends and family!!!




The Burg Revisited

What a day!

Spent the morning walking on Central Avenue in downtown St. Pete. It has changed so much over the years. When I first moved here I remember coming downtown. There were maybe a dozen Beach Drive merchants, a couple of old hotels, a few diners, The Vinoy was in total disrepair with broken windows, Webb City and the neighborhood were blighted. The Pier was the coolest thing in town and it was old in the 70s.

Today i walked past the new shops and an arts and crafts show going on. Just wanted to post some pictures so you could appreciate the new coolness of our city:

Apparently Plymouth Rockshow, Helmet and Mook Boy draw big crowds at the State Theater these days,.

I am sooo old.


Wait is that where you buy an enchanted notion or just visit with Chrissy and she shares hers?

Love the name of this shop ... The Trunk.

Works on your curiosity right? Don't you just want to go in and rummage through luggage?
St Pete Shirt Company ...  pretty straight forward.

Another day in parad…

Keep an Eye Out For Me

I was supposed to be in Memphis today ... listening to blues, chewing on a rib or two and watching the USF Bulls play football at the Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium.

But as (my) luck would have it, I had to undergo an emergency procedure on my left eye .. a retinal tear. It's an injury you hear about with athletes when a baseball hits them in the eye or a concussion related football injury. Mine was probably from sneezing.

For those of you keeping score, this was my 357th procedure in five years. Okay, I know I tend to exaggerate ... really more like 356th.  But at least I didn't have to go to TGH this time. I went to the Eye Institute on USF campus and saw three different ophthalmologists who all agreed that I would have to have the procedure done that day.

I was a little nervous. I am not a fan of anything touching my eye ... even tried contacts one time and was so bad at it that the optometrist fired me from her store. But the ophthalmologist (who was all of four feet tall)…

Brilliance!

Just read an interesting article on The Four Traits of Highly Intellectual People. Actually it was kind of a YouTube slide show on Facebook ... so naturally you can be assured that it's well researched and the ultimate academic bible on what sets us intellectuals apart from regular people. (Notice I included myself in the intellectual category.)

Check out how many of these apply to you:

1. They are messy.

Messy desks promote creative thinking and stimulate new ideas. Not sure how or why but I bought it. My desk, closet and car were last straightened up in 1976. This trait probably puts me in the genius category.

2. They talk to themselves.

Talking to yourself helps you more clearly define your problem more clearly and come up with a better solution more quickly. Actually I've had long conversations with myself. My other self is not nearly as interesting.

3. They swear more.

Apparently a large vocabulary of swear words is a sign of rhetorical strength. I must have a pretty fair a…

70 Year Old Virgin??

Interesting times we live in.

The Trump bus tape is the latest of those precious moments in the presidential campaign that SNL prays for. No one would believe it. No matter which candidate you love, hate or don't care about as long as the opponent doesn't win ... you gotta admit this was an extra painful moment for the Donald.

Okay ,,, we've all heard the rhetoric: "locker room talk", "insulting to women", "all men do it", "a plot by the liberal media" or "Donald just doesn't really mean what he says". Well here's another take on it. I have to admit, it wasn't my original idea. I credit one of the guys I work with (who will remain nameless because I didn't ask him if I could use his name and he might be a little less careless politically than I am).

The Donald is Steve Carrell.

Whether he is in the Office or 40 year old Virgin or Anchorman ... he's always the inappropriate dorky guy who makes you want t…

Commit ... You'll be happy you did!

There are commitments ... and then there are THE COMMITMENTS!!! (The type of commitments that you love).

Back in the early 90s, there was a film about a group of young Irish musicians who put together a band that I never get tired of. Yesterday I noticed that Netflix addded it to their selection.

If you haven't seen it ... here's the basic plot: In the Northside of Dublin, Ireland, Jimmy Rabbitte is a young music fanatic who aspires to manage an Irish soul band in the tradition of 1960s American recording artists. He places an ad in the local newspaper and holds auditions in his parents' home. After being deluged by scores of disastrous performers, Jimmy decides to put together a band consisting of friends and people he encounters—lead singer Deco Cuffe, guitarist Outspan Foster, pianist Steven Clifford, saxophonist Dean Fay, bassist Derek Scully, drummer Billy Mooney, and female backup singers Bernie McGloughlin, Natalie Murphy and Imelda Quirke. Jimmy then meets Joey &qu…

The Bug Man???

My sweet little Alissa came over to the house the other day to check on me.

"I'm doing fine, honey ... Thanks for bringing me bagels." 
"I would have come over earlier if I knew you had surgery."
"I didn't tell you?"
'No! I had to hear it from the bug man! He sprayed my house and asked me how you were doing after your surgery."
"He did?"
"Yes. You tell our bug man before your own daughter!"
Turned out Deb had cancelled with Steve (the bug man) and told him I'd be home that day from surgery. Alissa and Nate use him too. 
This is a public apology to my daughter for telling the bug man first.

Igor, Is That a Lipoma on Your Shoulder Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

A few days ago I went to TGH for surgery AGAIN.

Big surprise huh? This time it was for the removal of a lipoma from my shoulder. I started to feel like Igor from Young Frankenstein ... remember him? He had that hump that moved around a lot during the movie.

Actually, a lipoma is a soft tissue mass that moves too (not quite that much) but in my mind it had become just as noticeable.

Plastic surgeon removed it and originally said it was a simple procedure that should take just 20 minutes.

He obviously didn't know me well. I'm the 5% guy who always has other issues even with simple surgery. This time it was attached to the muscle so it took longer and required a little deeper "dig" (like really close to China).

There's a movie out now called Hologram for a King with Tom Hanks. He has a lipoma on his back throughout the whole movie that bothers him so much that he tries to cut it out with a steak knife.

I thought that was a crazy premise until I had surgery and I lo…

Bye Bye Bahston

Deb is reading me the news again as we wait to board the plane. It's the newspaper from last week in St. Pete. 
By the way ... Forgot to mention the great restaurant on the North End we went to the other night: Limoncellos. What a great meal we had. Rosette Al Montasio Ed Olio Di Tartufo to be exact. To die for! 
Mark and Keli ordered us a very special wine to start. Nice touch!!!
Oh good they just called us to board. Debbie just got to the section on local elections too! Oh well. 
Going home.

Chesney Does Bahston

We went to the Kenny Chesney concert tonight. 
Actually, Kenny Chesney is why we are here. Debbie raised her hand at sister Keli's fundraiser a few months ago and ... magically ... we were the owners of two concert tickets, a limo ride and a stay at the Parker House Omni.  

The limo picked us up early to get us to Gillette Stadium with the other 70,000 concert goers. Most of them were in the parking lot feeling no pain when we got there.  Average age was probably 18 (well maybe there were some who actually were legal). 
Inside, the stadium started to fill slowly. The age of the crowd started to look more diverse as people took their seats. On stage was Sam Hunt, former football player and country songwriter/ musician. He did a long set. Very good. 
Then the crowd swelled and Miranda Lambert took the stage. She killed it. Deb told me the history of her marriage and breakup with Blake Shelton (I'm probably the only person in America who didn't know all the stuff about Gwen Stefa…

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Today we started out bright and early looking for another meal. No ... The beer comes later.  
Actually we wound up an Panera. I know ... We come all the way to Boston for a bagel at Panera. But hey ... it was a quick stop ... and plus I had to find a bathroom. 
Ready for a little TMI? Our toilet in the room is about the size of teacup. A full size man (like yours truly) can't even  ... Well let's just say that I'm not sure how a person who is 4'10" fits on it.  
So I was happy to see the Men's Room sign at Panera. I hurriedly grabbed the handle and noticed the sign "Enter the four digit code from your receipt". Darn, I threw away my receipt. How was I to know that this clever foil to keep away street people from relieving themselves would now inhibit my ...
"Ain't got your code?" One of the Panera housekeepers asked. 
"I'm ... I must have thrown it ..."
"0641"
"Thank you so much. I really ..." He was gone. 
De…