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Showing posts from October, 2010

The DC I Forgot

I was reminded the other day that my trip to DC had other "interesting moments" I forgot to share.

Alissa ran in The Army Race on the Sunday I was there. I thought she either enlisted or was dating a soldier ... kinda unusual for her to run in a race for the Army, you know? Turned out it was neither. She just did it with friends for fun. She placed 10,177th which was pretty good considering there were over 20,000 that ran. I would have placed 30,056th.

She texted me (that's how we communicate) to meet her at a restaurant on one of those letter streets (P or Q or something) and about 17th when they finished running. I waited outside for her group to arrive, when she actually called me to say:

" Dad ... have you gone inside yet?"

" No, honey ... just standing by the front door."

" My friends told me that the restaurant is ... um ... Gay ... "

" I figured it out when I read the sign."

" Are you going to be ..."

" Gay? No…

Separated at Birth

Election Day is Tuesday.

In case you Floridians need more information about some of the candidates, I've done additional research and have uncovered some family photos that may be of interest.

Alex Sink and Mike Myers

Charlie Crist and George Hamilton

Marco Rubio and Spanky

Rick Scott and Freddie Krueger

Weekend in DC

Here I sit at the Reagan Airport among the masses who await for the plane to Tampa.

I just left my wonderful daughter, Alissa ... I say wonderful because it aggravates her brother and sister to no end. They think she's my favorite ... just because I call her the "perfect child". (See entry on 12/23/09)

Can you believe it?

Actually, I call all my kids wonderful ... And they are.

But ... Alissa truly was the perfect child. Her mom called her that too. She was the kid who always slept through the night, was always calm, loving and found humor in every situation. She was the only one of my kids who watched Mel Brooks movies with me, laughed at Woody Allen ... and yes .... laughed at my jokes, too. Okay ... I admit it. Laugh at my jokes and you're pretty close to perfect in my book.

She lives in DC now and I spent this past weekend with her.

Of course the place is swimming in tourists. You can spot them a mile away. They have kids hanging off each arm, cameras around their…

Oh Give Me A Home ... stead

The Homestead is a beautiful thing.

The one in Hot Springs, Virginia ... just a tobacco spit away from West Virginia is the one I mean. Truly magnificent, it is the place we stayed last week before traveling to Morgantown for the USF/West Virginia game ... truly NOT magnificent (if you're a Bulls fan).

The Homestead is a sprawling resort that was built in 1750 ... just before I was born ... and has been visited by many presidents. George Washington apparently visited when he was 22 and was one of the many who enjoyed the mineral springs that this area is famous for. Unfortunately, George also brushed his teeth in the springs which later contributed to the reasons that he eventually wore his famous wooden false teeth.

Sam Snead was probably one of the most famous residents of the area. There are three championship golf courses that challenge even the best golfers. Sam designed them on rolling hills with treacherous traps. Another interesting thing that Sam developed on these courses…

Do We Still Have Bathrooms?

To me ... two of scariest words in the English language are homerenovations.

The TV show, Extreme Makeover, took renovations to a whole new level. In 60 minutes (well ... probably more like 38 with commercials) they completely transform a lousy looking house, hide it, then scream out ... MOVE THAT BUS and ... voila ... a new mansion. Do you believe it? Yeah? Well ... YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY NEVER BEEN THROUGH HOME RENOVATIONS. Trust me a more accurate description would be:

"A time when life, as you know it, ceases to exist ... until the NEXT home renovation happens."

I admit I'm not the handiest guy on the block with a hammer. Okay ... make that the planet and include any tool you can think of. 
Jews are missing the handyman gene. They hire others who can hammer, staple, glue ... whatever those other jobs are.
We are in the middle of renovations as we speak. Hah! We are in the middle of renovations as we sleep. Debbie is always renovating ... even when I think we have finished. …

Why Do You Think It's Called Underwear?

I'm over it. Pants have finally sunk to a new low. When this "trend" started a few years ago I thought it wouldn't last.

What do I know?

I saw this guy last night walking down the street with one hand holding his phone and the other holding his pants. I think they were shorts but since they were around his ankles ... who could really tell? He crossed the street in front of me and, even though the light was turning red, he slowed down to make sure everyone (that's me and one other car) saw him as he sauntered in front of us.

I can't believe more "fallout" hasn't happened. You can't really "keep this up" forever. I hope there will be a "drop off" of this fad ... soon. It's got to be "short" lived.

So ... What's the message here? I can't figure out what is being communicated.

Maybe it's ... "I am so tough that my pants are afraid to be close to me?"

I mean really!

For these guys ... there&…

Might As Well Laugh

The "celebrity" stories that made me smile this week:

Snooki ... I'll admit I had no idea what a Snooki was ... but I learned that a Snooki is fairly illiterate, lives in New Jersey and has friends with lifelong ambitions to have similar skin colors (about the same shade of Miami's football uniforms). Snooki is WRITING A NOVEL. Need I say more?

Rod Blagojevich ... I love this guy. Former Illinois Governor arrested, and indicted on 24 counts of federal corruption charges including a few pay to play schemes to place key "players" in office. He is appearing in NEW YORK AS A PANELIST TO DISCUSS "TRUST".

Justin Bieber ... he's 16 years old and has the teenage version of Blagojevich hair. His fans range in age ... from about 8 to 10 years old. There were tears and screams from coast to coast when BIEBER KISSED (I kid you not) HIS CHILDHOOD GIRLFRIEND.

Tareq and Michaele Salahi ... they are on some bizarre TV series called Real Housewives of DC  because …