Sunday, September 29, 2013

Breaking Bad is Freaking Awesome

Translation for others my age: Breaking Bad is an excellent series that outshines everything aired on TV lately.

I know you've heard it from me before. I fall in love with a series and I babble about it being the best or the greatest thing ever ... but truly ... the writing and the incredible detail to structure is amazing.

Admittedly, I am a huge Bryan Cranston fan. I had the good fortune of meeting and spending time with him about 15 years ago. He was in St. Pete to play in our Major League Alumni baseball game for All Children's Hospital. I've written about this event in the past ... it was a great weekend hosted by Major League Alumni Association and ACH featuring ex big leaguers and celebs in a big baseball game and weekend event. Brian wanted to visit the kids at ACH so I picked him up at his hotel and took him through the hospital and answered questions he had about the event itself.

He is a very smart guy.

You just have to spend a few minutes with him and it's obvious that he does his homework ... he is a student of his environment. At the time he was doing a hundred and fifty different projects including writing a screenplay with his wife. He was starring in Malcolm in the Middle and was in so many other great roles.

I told him how much I loved him as the cool Dr. Tim Whatley the dentist on Seinfeld (remember ... he converted to Judaism for the jokes). He called me "the opposite of an anti-dentite".

In Breaking Bad he plays a chemistry teacher, dealing with terminal lung cancer who becomes a meth cooker to help pay the bills and leave his family with funds to live after he's gone. There have been 5 seasons that you can watch on Netflix ... WELL WORTH IT. I'm furiously trying to watch them all before the series end this year.

That's all I'm gonna say. You'll thank me.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Heart Boy (The artist formerly known as Brain Boy) Takes a First Stroll Downtown

What a beautiful day.

Sun is shining, there's a breeze (well ... it's not 102˚) and best part ... I'm still kicking! So, Deb and I took a walk downtown and tried the menu at The Birchwood. It's the newest and trendiest Beach Drive Hotel/restaurant/rooftop bar in St Pete.

It's about a two mile walk from the house and I felt fine. The ticker was fine, and for my first real outing (other than 4 innings of the Rays game last night) I felt like a new man ... Maybe the six million dollar man complete with new parts installed and others rehabbed. Six million is a stretch ... the dollar ninety five man is probably a better description.

Th Birchwood has a unique outside eating area. Unique because there are large air handlers cooling off the customers ... a real step up from the spritzer fans that other eateries blow at you.

And the menu is superb.  

Debbie had a sweet potato quiche with three different cheeses.

I had a soft shell crab benedict ... poached eggs with hollandaise sauce over two soft shell crabs.

Unbelievably tasty ... Even more unbelievable when you consider one of my buddies is also one of the owners and he has no taste at all. Kidding, Kenny ... I know you probably picked out the color of the concrete sidewalk and the beer choices inside.

Check it out ... seriously. The evening dining room menu, the rooftop bar and the ambience (Kenny, that's a big word that means the way you feel when you are there and not drunk) are not to be missed. 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Brain Boy: Tin Man meets the Scarecrow: Back to Oz

Knew it was too good to be true.

Just getting ready for our annual Guy's Trip to North Carolina when .... you guessed it ... I got a one way ticket back to TGH. You're probably as sick about hearing about my medical issues as I am telling them.

It was a FOURPEAT.

It started as a heart checkup. I was thinking that the feelings of discomfort I was having in my chest were unrelated to my brain recovery or the shunt ... but I get the ticker checked all the time. Yesterday, I got another stress test and the cardiologist said ... just to be safe, let's get you in the Cath Lab.  As soon as I got there my heart told me it was the right place to be. It screamed at me in arrythmatic tones.

Here's where it got crazy ... and humorous too, although I wasn't laughing at the time.

Three nurses surrounded me at once and here is the conversation:

Nurse 1: "What is your date of birth?"

Me: March the fir ..."

Nurse 2: "What pills do you take at night?"

Me: "Well let's see ..."

Nurse 3:  (feeling my wrist) "Is this hand good for your IV?"

Me: "In my wrist or my arm?"

1: "Tell me when you started to have pain."

Me: "I was here at the hospital and went to admission ..."

2: (TRUE STORY) Before I could answer she put her fingers to my lips and listened to my heart ...

3: Stuck me with the needle and said "Whoops."

Eventually, they got me into the Cath Lab where the team worked like an ant colony to get everything ready for the doctor. The lab was the same one I had visited 4 years earlier for the placement of two stents in my left artery.

This time it was my right artery and they fixed it just in time. One stent ... and now I wait in TGH feeling pretty good ... considering.

Oh ... North Carolina didn't wait for me. My buddies flew out today and sent me pictures of them flipping me off and they sent texts laughing at me that are unsuitable for reprint.

In other words ... they miss me and wish me well.

I'm outta here tomorrow. The Scarecrow has a working Brain, The Tin Man's Heart is in good shape and the Cowardly Lion has been temporarily soothed.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Forgive Me

Today is Yom Kippur. For those who are not members of one of the "tribes", on this day Jews around the world pray for forgiveness of their sins. We save them up all year for one big ask ... unlike Debbie and her weekly confessions. We have no time for the weekly sins ... Sundays are reserved for Chinese take-out.

Sam and I prayed for forgiveness together. I think Sammy reverses the process ... he forgives God for not helping him with his cell phone problems or not punishing the nursing home laundry for washing his sport coats and shrinking them so that they are unwearable. (He told everyone that passed by today about this last "blessing")

"Hi Sam ... I'm praying for your good health today."

"Did I tell you about how the laundry screwed up my sport coats? That's why I'm not wearing one today."

He asked me (loudly) to buy him a sport coat during services. I leaned close to his right ear and said:

"I will Dad ... let's talk about it after services."


"I will ... later."


I leaned across his body and spoke into his left ear.

"Why didn't you wear your hearing aid in your right ear?"

"Because I hear fine on that side." (Of course)

Happiest of holidays to all!

Friday, September 13, 2013

Brain Boy:Images of the Working Man

This was my first (kinda part time) week back at work.

I start at 10 AM. The women in my life keep me on a tight leash and a tough schedule. My assistant tells me that she is afraid of my wife while my wife tells me she is afraid of my assistant.

I'm not sure who I am more afraid of ... but the assistant has a strong lead.

This is how I look first thing in the morning getting ready to start my day.

This is me after about a half hour of a meeting to solve an easy office problem.

This is me at about 10:45.

Next week I might make it until 11!!!


Friday, September 6, 2013

Brain Boy: Back to Work

Monday ... I go back to the real world.

That's right. I go to work and leave the comfort of the man cave and cut the apron strings (although I still can't see straight so Debbie might help out by driving me to places I can't get to if I beg).

Know what I won't miss the most? DAYTIME TV.

Here are my top five shows:

1. Live! with Kelly and Michael. That's Kelly Ripa ... the chick that used to make sure Regis was still breathing. Now she co hosts with Michael Strahan ...  Seriously  ... The gap toothed former NY Giants Defensive Player of the century, who has Super Bowl rings, multiple pro bowl appearances and is a future future Hall of Famer. He's 6 foot 5 and she's 3 feet tall. He giggles and dances and throws her up in the air and is the most embarrassing former football player I ever saw on TV (well .... there's the Dancing with the Stars group too). It's my number one pick because I watched only one segment but made it all the way until Michael did a happy dance at the end.

2. Hoda and Kathy Lee Show. I thought Kristen Wiig's character was an exaggeration. No way. It's dead on. Kathy Lee's wine drinking and comments even make the audience embarrassed. Hey ... come to think of it she's married to Frank Gifford (who almost got away) ... former quarterback for New York. Maybe Frank can fill in for Michael sometime.

3. The Wendy Williams Show. Who the heck is this woman?  I can't figure out who she is and how she got a talk show. Her only claim to fame is her breast size which has to be 45 EEEE.

4. Dr. Oz. This guy has women all over the world lined up outside the studio hoping he might call on them to tell all their personal hygiene problems on national TV and dress up as human bladders.

5. The View vs The Talk. I can't give these two a fair assessment because I watched both for less than 10 minutes. I think they are pretty much the same ... One panel has Sharon Osborne and the other has Whoopi Goldberg. Most of the debate is about what good mothers feed their babies and how disgusting Miley Cyrus is.

Give me a stressful week at the office ANYTIME!

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...