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Showing posts from April, 2010

Modern Family

I admit it ... I'm a fan.

If you haven't yet seen Modern Family, the sitcom on ABC on Wednesday nights, you are missing the best show on TV in YEARS..

Here's the premise: Jay recently married Gloria. Now Jay is trying hard to keep up with his much younger and hotter Colombian wife, along with her passionate pre-teen son, Manny. Claire (Jay's daughter) is having a hard time raising her own family. Her husband Phil is great, except that he thinks he's "down" with their three kids, much to all their embarrassment. And, Mitchell (Jay's son) and his enthusiastic partner Cameron have just made a major life change by adopting a Vietnamese baby named Lily.


Jay is "Al Bundy" from Married With Children (one of my other favorites from year's past) ... remember him? Manny wears silk shirts that you would typically see only on the backs of 80 year old men and uses phrases like ...." You look stunning in that dress."

Tonight's episode …

Stuck Here For a While

I had my first MRI the other day.

Make that I had my first Magnetic Resonance ... "squeeze your fat ass into a tube after you get a mask strapped to your face and stuffed into a tube the size of an air conditioning vent while hammers and loud sirens are pumped into the chamber" ... Imaging procedure.

I didn't know if you picked up on the fact that I wasn't enamored with the process.



The technicians that took care of me were nice enough guys. They had seen it all before so I know they were just being kind when they gave me a panic button. I pressed it 37 times like I was a contestant on Jeopardy. No one really heard it ... I'm sure it wasn't connected.



I think they were thinking about the patient that was next up after me ... she had been sitting in the waiting room while everyone figured out how to "fit her in".






I asked them about the results after 40 minutes of pure torture in the chamber ... they appropriately said "Your doctor will give you th…

A Couple Together ... Always

Kudos to the St. Petersburg Times for the story on the front page of the B Section in today's paper.
It's not about rape, violence, suicide or any of the other "uplifting" stories that are usually front page news.

Instead it is a very touching story about two ordinary people who had an extraordinary relationship.

Jimmy and Bettie Wise met in Baltimore in 1945. On that day ... he and one of his Navy buddies happened upon Bettie and a friend of hers in a restaurant. Jimmy's friend picked the blonde.

"Good," Jimmy said. "I like the brunette."

They got married one year later and lived in Savannah, Georgia ... where Jimmy drove locomotives for the Seaboard Coast Line Railroad carrying passengers from Florida to Maine ... on the Silver Meteor. His father did the same thing. They moved back to Baltimore the next year. Bettie taught elementary school and Jimmy drove the freight trains which supplied Bethlehem Steel.

Theirs was a love affair of polar…

Giving Back

Okay so what?
So ... I didn't feel like coming back from LA without taking a side trip to Vegas. What do you mean I sound defensive? I am not! I just happen to enjoy unwinding with a little blackjack ... slot machine ... roulette  ... ya know?
This is the ridiculous conversation I had with myself the other day. My "Vegas Persona" won, of course ... always does.

... So I got a room at my favorite little motel: Caesar's Palace and cleaned out my bank account and began my personal quest to becoming Mr. Papagiorgio (via ... National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation).

You see ... I always feel like Mr. Papagiorgio when I go to Vegas.

Because ... they like me. They send me all these wonderful brochures and offer me 4 and 5 night stays at the beautiful hotels ... all for free ... because ... they like me. I drink for free and eat for free and they call me Mr. Momberg (short for Papagiorgio) and tell me to have a good time ... because they LIKE me.

They DO like me ... don't…

Later today

... And I thought she was dead.

Business Trip

It's my third day in the "Land of Fruits and Nuts".

Actually, I'm a big fan of LA. Must be something about coming to a place that is always on the brink of insanity that I'm drawn to. New Orleans has hurricanes, the French Quarter and crooked politicians. California has earthquakes, Hollywood and financial chaos.

My kinda town(s).

This is actually a business trip. Yesterday, I was in San Francisco meeting with the Osher Foundation located in the Ferry Building overlooking the Bay. Last night we had dinner with alumni of USF at a cool oriental restaurant, Betelnut, owned by one of the alums. Tonight we have dinner at The Wilshire Restaurant and tomorrow, a party at the Malibu home of another alum/benefactor.



I know ... I know. Business trips really suck, don't they?

It's All About the Ring Finger

Recognize this photo?

Yep ... it's Jesse James' girlfriend ... the tattoo model who apparently was one of a few thousand young ink covered ladies that Jesse played with when Sandra (America's Sweetheart) Bullock was not around.

There is not a person on earth who has forgiven him for what he did and few can understand why he strayed. Sandra Bullock ... of all people.

Sex addiction?  NO WAY.

The reason was in an obscure publication that I read just the other day ... and no one has put two and two together ... except for me!

The answer is (drum roll):

His ring finger is longer than his index finger.

That's right! The ring finger holds the clue. See the article below:


The ratio between index and ring finger is believed to be linked to exposure to the male hormone testosterone in the womb. On average, men tend to have longer ring fingers and women longer index fingers. The higher the testosterone, the greater the length of the ring finger and the more "masculine" t…

Easter Greetings from the Jewish Guy

Happy Easter to my non-Jewish friends!
Note: Jews call the majority of the world "non-Jews". It's our way of dealing with the fact that most people are not Jewish and have control of the major holidays throughout the year.
My wife is a non-Jew (or shiksa). She, of course, celebrates Easter by going to church and praying for sinners like her husband who was sleeping when she left this morning.

I wasn't alone in bed. Yes ... there was a female snuggled right next to me. Her name was Gracie and Debbie was perfectly fine with this arrangement. In fact ... I was sleeping in Gracie's bed. And her cousin, Simon was sleeping close by.

Okay ... okay ... it's not as exciting as you think.

Gracie and Simon are dachsunds. Gracie belongs to Debbie's twin, Dennie and Simon belongs to Dennie's daughter Courtney. We are dog sitting this weekend at Dennie and Tom's house. Gracie apparently sleeps in their bed and Simon sleeps under it.

I had a little trouble sleeping…

Guinea Pig for a Day

Tonight we celebrated a $5.6 million gift from a wonderful organization to fund our Diabetes Education Initiative at USF: Bringing Science Home.

And in addition to the traditional dinner, speeches, meet and greet , dog and pony show, etc ... I was asked (along with a few others) to get hooked up to an insulin pump for 24 hours to tell folks tonight "what it feels like to do this" ... as a non-diabetic ... and about the new found respect I have for diabetics going through this process every day. Now ... just so that I don't mislead you ... the pump contains saline solution, not insulin.

Yesterday ... I was "hooked up".

I had a choice of blue, silver or pink. Despite the crowd's persistance that I wear pink, I chose blue. Our coach and instructor was none other than Nicole Johnson, the head of our Diabetes education program. Nicole also has diabetes and, among other things, was famous for being Miss America in 1999 and a national spokesperson for Living With …