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Showing posts from May, 2010

Do Over: The Family Jewels Part 1

Published September 20, 2009 While I was at LSU, my family moved to a new house. They forgot to tell me.


You probably think this is unusual. Most families communicate regularly about things like that. Not mine. Actually, I don't think my Dad knew about the house either and he was involved in the decision. I found out when I came home one weekend and met sthe new owners of our old house. THEY gave me our new address.

When I finally found our new house in Metairie, the conversation went something like this:
Me: "Mom ... why didn't you tell me we moved?"
Esther: " Sam, can you believe this? NOW he wants to communicate. Where was he when WE asked him things about HIS comings and goings?"
Me: "Mom ... I asked about our house."
Esther: "See this Sam ... see how he does this? Now it's OUR fault that he doesn't know."
Me: "It IS your fault. How else ..."
Esther: "Sam, are you going to LET him talk to us this way???"
Sam: "…

Just the Right Angle

Here are a few pics that will make you smile...






Remember "The Fly"?

















"But ... but ... butttt ..."













"Mommy ... why does the lion make that face when I do this?"









Two pees in a pod




Marty ... Would you Call My Dad?

This Sunday, there was a Sixty Minutes segment about Marty Cooper. He's the guy who invented the cell phone. He made the first call in 1973 from a street corner in New York City to the head of Bell Labs Research. He answered the call on his land line. Cooper worked for Motorola and couldn't resist calling his competitor on that day ... right before his press conference.

Great story ... he's still active and involved in the industry at 83.

He's built the company that produces The Jitterbug ... billed as the easiest phone to learn and to operate. There's only one button to search the menu options like voicemail and ring tones ... and the numbers are large and easy to dial. If you get lost in the process ... dial the Jitterbug operator and SHE does it for you. Morley Safer said that "this phone is so easy that an idiot could operate it."

He hasn't met poor Sam ...

I bought Sam a Jitterbug phone so that he could carry it with him and always get his calls w…

Do Over: Esther Returns

It's the end of the week. Time for reflection and time for rest. So ... I took a cue from one of my favorite bloggers, Chrissy, who publishes Second Hand Sundays on her very funny blog "I Should've Been a Stripper".


I'm recycling some of my favorites ... and hope they will become yours ... every Sunday.


Published: Thursday, December 10, 2009 Esther Returns ... Once More
Esther stories apparently have reader appeal. Thank you for all the requests ... and thanks for the wonderful messages many of you have sent me over the last couple of weeks. Here's my personal favorite:


I mentioned that Esther and Sam had adjoining rooms at Menorah Manor ... separated by only a curtain. You also might remember that Sam is very hard of hearing ( deaf, by human standards) ... and over the last few months, Esther's voice was barely a whisper. It was a match made in heaven ... she couldn't speak and he couldn't hear.

About 6 months ago, I got a call from Sam.

"Your …

I'm Over It

I'm ready to go back to work.

The doctors told me to take some time off, get rid of stress and DON'T answer any emails or phone calls. You gotta be kidding me. It's been two weeks and I'm going crazy. I'm more stressed than ever ... all I do all day is think about my medical problems and count my pills. Debbie's ready for me to go back to work too. She's the MOST stressed listening to me say stuff like ... "Hey ... do you think the pain in my left kneecap is related to my heart cath?"

I'll tell you how bored I am.

I walk my neighborhood three times a day ... morning, noon and night. I had to reintroduce myself to my neighbors across the street because I never go out the front door. I always leave via the garage door in the back. This week my goal was to figure out who the rest of these people are who live in our neighborhood.

Jim, across the street, is fixing up his front yard. Apparently he does this every month according to Debbie.

There…

Earth to Sam!

Got a new Sam story for you.

By the way ... Sam (my dad, for those who are new to my blog) knows nothing about my medical issues and hospital stays. That is ... I haven't told him anything that would just cause him to worry. He only hears every 5th word or so in most conversations. So if anyone else has asked him how I was doing with all my medical problems... he would probably hear it as: Joel ... has ... problems? To which he would probably reply, "Oh ... I guess so."

A couple of weeks ago, Nikki graduated from med school and Dad was there to see her on stage and at the party for her that night. Deb and I picked him up from Menorah Manor that night and I decided to surprise him with a gift. I had bought an official LSU basketball from the 2006 Final Four series in Indianapolis. Now ... you have to understand, my Dad is one of the biggest LSU fans in the world. He knows every stat from every sport and watches all their teams religiously ... including women's basketb…

Home .... Again

Okay ... here I am just waiting for my discharge papers.

We decided to wait on the ablation ... zapping might come in a few months after I get used to my new meds. The brain comes next.

You'll notice that I am still wired. Actually I don't really think it's hooked to anything but makes me feel good while I'm here.

Thanks to all of you who have wished me well during my Oz journey.

It continues ... but for now ... I'm good for another few ... feet.












By the way .... look for these items on E Bay .... I am accepting all offers.

Be Still My Heart

Well ... just as I went "easin' down the road" .... some damn flying monkey grabbed me.

Yep. I was sent back to the hospital because my PVCs started to create "real ugly patterns on the EKG" as one of the ER nurses put it so eloquently. She added other stuff like ... "The other nurses couldn't believe you could really walk in here" ... and ... "I'm gonna take this picture (EKG chart) home with me."

I kept saying over and over ... PVCs are not life threatening .... PVCs are not life threatening .... then they wheeled in the defibrillator JUST IN CASE.

So I closed my eyes, clicked my heels and said "There's No Place Like Home ... There's No Place Like Home ..."

When I opened my eyes ... I was still here! But at least that damned monkey was gone.

Okay, I know what you're saying .... Enough of the Oz references!  I agree ...

So anyway, I did get admitted again ... and now I'm here waiting for Dr. Gallardo (Coun…

Hey Toto ... We're Not In Kansas Anymore

Lately ... it's been a little like Oz-ville at my house.

Last month I was the Scarecrow. You might remember one of my April postings "Stuck Here For a While"  (about a fun day inside an MRI).

Well ... the results showed that I had a "schwannoma". I thought, at first, that was a brain tumor for little Jewish guys like me. It turned out to be benign and treatable ... just irritating because it sits on a sensory nerve making the right side of my face numb so that during high level meetings I might drool or speak in tongues. Other than that ... and not tasting food ... it's a "no brainer".

I went to see the Wizard (Dr. Steve Klasko, my great friend, Pop Night guru and King of ALL that is medical at USF). He and my Internist, Dr. Dick Hoffman, set me up with a great neurosurgeon Dr. Harry Van Loveren who planned my course of treatment. It's called Cyberknife and it is done through a big robotic x-ray machine that sends out directed bursts at the t…

Things You Can't Live Without

Every so often you find things that no one else has. I came across these gems the other day ... Check them out:

For the man who has everything ... including alcoholism.




Comforting fake hands ... what every baby craves.

Toilet Butler Face ... because ... because ... who the hell knows?



My favorite ... Psycho shower curtain ... wonder if it comes with the soundtrack.


Son of Butler Toilet Face ... because ... oh just because!

Sign Says It All

Okay, I'm over it.

Friday, I passed no fewer than five sign-carrying "homeless" people in the middle of intersections that were clearly packed with commuters trying to get to work. Now ... I'm not some cold hearted, intolerant elitist that doesn't CARE about homeless people. But give me a break. I bet THESE GUYS all have BMWs parked just out of sight, live in condos just outside of town and share drinks with the thousand of other "homeless" curb dwellers.

How do I know this?

Well, I don't. I just think that. Maybe because one had a pair of expensive looking Nikes and another had designer jeans and a couple were wearing matching Rolexes.

My brother-in-law Tom sent me some very clever photos from around the country. Enjoy!







I give him high marks for creativity and  honesty.
















He probably has a DeLorean parked around the corner.















I assume this is his brother.













I could have a beer with this guy.
















Not sure about a beer with this guy.












One of the Young Republica…

In Support of Good Taste

I realized the other day ... when I posted Gloria's picture from Modern Family ... that some of you might have thought I was just putting a picture of a beautiful girl with big boobs to increase readership.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, I despise the bloggers that will stop at nothing just to create more readership. The posting of obscenely large breasted women, offers of free merchandise, promises of making large amounts of money ... all are not on my agenda.

I get the same thing in unsolicited emails ... and I am tired of it. Do they think we are really influenced by this garbage? I am continually amazed by the lack of good taste and sensitivity that primarily men, unfortunately, show when posting or creating these sites.

You will NEVER see any pictures of sexy women with big breasts again on my site ... I can guarantee that!










(By the way click the box on the left for special prizes just for visiting my site).