Thursday, January 30, 2014

MAN RULES

I saw these "Man Rules" posted on Facebook.

Thought I'd share some of them with you ... The author is a brave man.

Notice that all the rules are numbered #1 (Of course!)

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.  Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
- Subtle hints do not work.
- Strong hints do not work.
- Obvious hints do not work.
- Just say it.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of those ways make you angry or sad ... we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit ... not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying ... but it's not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... really.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.


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