Skip to main content

Tax Diversion

I'm sitting here doing the very last thing I want to do every year ... my taxes.

I'm on my 27th Worksheet and headed for my 38th IRS Form ... only to be more depressed to see what MORE taxes I owe when I finish. Is it any wonder that I put everything aside and start working on my new blog entry?

Time travel (how's that for a transition?)

That's what I'm thinking about ... time travel. From Back to the Future (parts 1-52) to the Time Traveller (and the Time Traveller's Wife ... and whole family), the whole concept of travelling back and forward in time has fascinated me. Can you imagine what it would be like to be able to visit yourself when you were a baby or when you are an old man (or get a visit from yourself at any stage in your life?)

Here's the great part ... the earlier time travel movies would not let the two worlds meet ... in other words, if by chance you would meet yourself in another time the universe would virtually implode. Now ... apparently it's okay ... at least movie travellers meet each other all the time. They can even change history! Remember when they couldn't?

So here's the big question: where would you go if you could travel in time?

Here's what I'd do:

1. I'd start with my "Bad Day with Ira Middleberg". He's the kid who threw a pencil in my eye in Hebrew School. The adult "me" would take care of that a-hole. Ira ... if you read my blog ... BEWARE!

2. Then I'd probably zip through time (naked, of course, as the latest trend has been) and have a drink at the Raven in New Orleans ... our high school hang out. I'd visit Percy the bartender and then I would loudly proclaim what a cool dude Momberg was ... as my younger self and I shared a beer.

3. I'd do a college visit next. My first real "sweetheart" broke my heart when she started seeing a guy whose entire vocabulary centered around farting and parts of the female anatomy. So knowing this I, of course, would tell Miss Thing that I am Joel's future and her potential Bonehead loser boyfriend becomes a ... (ooops, maybe I better find out. He might have been the CEO of some incredible company like ... Lehman Brothers) ...

... oh crap, Debbie just got home. "How's it going with the taxes, honey?"
Me .." Oh ... getting there."




Where the hell's "Future Joel" when I need him???

 

Comments

Bossy Betty said…
Love your procrastination tool here! I would love to travel back in time--maybe to the 50's. Say, how are those taxes coming along?
Joel Momberg said…
@Betty ... 50s work for me too. Taxes??? What taxes ... ???
Agnes said…
I hear you :-)
Joel Momberg said…
@ Agnes ... I STILL haven't gotten it done. LOL

Popular posts from this blog

SAMMY: The Novel (An Overview)

I finished writing Sammy:The Novel. 

So ... I called my good buddy and excellent writer, Dave Scheiber, to help me write an overview to pique the interest of publishers. The stuff that Dave wrote made me want to read my own book! We combined our efforts and here's what we came up with:

SAMMY (An Overview)

Sammy Levine, 86-year-old resident of Star of David nursing home, was not happy with his daily existence and dreamed of taking one last trip with his wife Esther (presently residing in an urn on the third shelf in his room). Sammy was careful about not exposing his plan to anyone, especially his son, Barry, who dutifully visited regularly and tried to make sure that he lived out his remaining days comfortably.

Through a carefully choreographed plan, Sammy managed to access personal information on three recently deceased residents from the nursing home’s computers. Then he applied for and obtained three new credit cards. Armed now with available cash and credit, he loaded up Esth…

Close Call

I was just putting the finishing touches on my new novel, Sammy, which will be available to order in November (shameless self promotion!) ... when I started thinking about some of the characters in my past life. One character I've actually written about in the past just popped into my head. It's a repeat story but I hope you enjoy it ... again.

When I was a Freshman at LSU, our dorm was set up like a suite with two adjoining double rooms and a common kitchen and living room. "Suite" really makes it sound much fancier than it was. Actually, living room makes it sound much fancier than it was. The walls were cinder block and the living room was about 100 square feet. I don't think four of us could even stand up in there at one time.

One of the four guys in our suite was the place kicker for the LSU Tigers. His name was Phil and he was from Bogalusa, Louisiana. He had the bed next to mine. Phil was about 6'8" and weighed well over 300 pounds. He was a big …

Princess Grace's Diary

We surprised our little princess, Grace on Friday with a last minute visit to Savannah. She and her BFF Stella had a joint princess birthday party.

It was of course no surprise to Deb and me that the trip had a few surprises for us, too.

It started out with a light show at the airport (we chose to fly rather than drive the 12 hours back and forth for one day). Lightning strikes were coming fast ... so the tarmac was closed until it settled down. We had to get to Atlanta in time to catch what had become the LAST flight of the night to Savannah at 11:20 PM.

We made it ... barely ... and fell asleep at 2 AM.

Up at 8 and out the door via Uber to The Landings (a mere 45 minute drive) and just in time to see this adorable duo.

Big brother Cole was  one of the "hosts".

Pony rides were there for the guests.

Matching Princess cakes (of course).

Lots of fun.

At about 2, Deb and I headed back to the airport with Nikki driving and made it in PLENTY of time to find out that there were n…