Sunday, March 28, 2010

Tax Diversion

I'm sitting here doing the very last thing I want to do every year ... my taxes.

I'm on my 27th Worksheet and headed for my 38th IRS Form ... only to be more depressed to see what MORE taxes I owe when I finish. Is it any wonder that I put everything aside and start working on my new blog entry?

Time travel (how's that for a transition?)

That's what I'm thinking about ... time travel. From Back to the Future (parts 1-52) to the Time Traveller (and the Time Traveller's Wife ... and whole family), the whole concept of travelling back and forward in time has fascinated me. Can you imagine what it would be like to be able to visit yourself when you were a baby or when you are an old man (or get a visit from yourself at any stage in your life?)

Here's the great part ... the earlier time travel movies would not let the two worlds meet ... in other words, if by chance you would meet yourself in another time the universe would virtually implode. Now ... apparently it's okay ... at least movie travellers meet each other all the time. They can even change history! Remember when they couldn't?

So here's the big question: where would you go if you could travel in time?

Here's what I'd do:

1. I'd start with my "Bad Day with Ira Middleberg". He's the kid who threw a pencil in my eye in Hebrew School. The adult "me" would take care of that a-hole. Ira ... if you read my blog ... BEWARE!

2. Then I'd probably zip through time (naked, of course, as the latest trend has been) and have a drink at the Raven in New Orleans ... our high school hang out. I'd visit Percy the bartender and then I would loudly proclaim what a cool dude Momberg was ... as my younger self and I shared a beer.

3. I'd do a college visit next. My first real "sweetheart" broke my heart when she started seeing a guy whose entire vocabulary centered around farting and parts of the female anatomy. So knowing this I, of course, would tell Miss Thing that I am Joel's future and her potential Bonehead loser boyfriend becomes a ... (ooops, maybe I better find out. He might have been the CEO of some incredible company like ... Lehman Brothers) ...

... oh crap, Debbie just got home. "How's it going with the taxes, honey?"
Me .." Oh ... getting there."




Where the hell's "Future Joel" when I need him???

 

4 comments:

Bossy Betty said...

Love your procrastination tool here! I would love to travel back in time--maybe to the 50's. Say, how are those taxes coming along?

Joel Momberg said...

@Betty ... 50s work for me too. Taxes??? What taxes ... ???

Agnes said...

I hear you :-)

Joel Momberg said...

@ Agnes ... I STILL haven't gotten it done. LOL