Skip to main content

Walk In My Shoes

Had a flashback walking across the campus today. No ... not an acid flashback ... this one was a true movie-type flashback. It was when Debbie and I drove young Josh Momberg to the University of Georgia his freshman year.
The car was loaded down with his treasures like ... video games, his favorite pillow, some disgusting cologne that he apparently thought would attract college girls (if they had really bad sinus trouble) and a few clothes.

The trip was memorable ... to say the least.

The first night we spent in Athens was at a Holiday Inn close to campus. We shared a room. A bed for us ... a cot for Josh. Some time after midnight, we heard a muffled scream coming from Josh's side of the room. I jumped up and turned on the light and saw Josh completely folded into his cot ... which had somehow snapped shut with only his feet sticking out.

He escaped unharmed ... just sweaty.

Debbie's turn at bad luck was on the next morning when she opened her (third or fourth) suitcase and noticed one of her toiletries missing. I can't remember which one ... but based on how distressed she was ... it could only mean it was one of her hair products.

She got over it.

My turn came soon after we moved Josh into his dorm. I headed out for coffee and bagels. I remember looking around the surrounding courtyard outside the dorm as I walked the crisscrossed sidewalks when all of a sudden ... I was standing in quicksand. Actually, it was wet cement. Now, most people would step into it with one foot and realize their mistake. Not me. BOTH feet. And I was sinking fast.

Suddenly I saw these two huge guys marching toward me. They looked just like William "The Refrigerator" Perry and Mr. O (remember "When Harry Met Sally"?) both in work overalls. They grabbed me by the arms and lifted me straight out without bending. The Fridge looked me up and down and chuckled and pointed to his cement truck..."Follow me."
"Wait ... I'm really sorry ... what can I do to make up for this?" I stammered.
Mr. O spoke up. "We got a hose, man."
I wasn't sure if they were gonna beat me with it or clean me off ... but I followed them anyway. They uncurled a huge firehose and stood me against the wall. The pressure sent me flush against it as they hosed the cement off my shoes and pants.

As I slogged away, I could hear them snorting and laughing out loud. I took a walk across campus to get coffee and bagles ... hoping I would dry off by the time I got back. I didn't. I walked back to the dorm and Debbie and Josh were standing on the porch waiting for me.

"Where in the world have you been?"
"Getting coffee."
"Why are you so wet?"
"Wet? Oh just a little accident. Not a big thing ..."

Over my shoulder I hear roaring laughter. I turn and see The Fridge and Mr. O with two other guys, Warren Sapp and The Hulk ... laughing it up too. The Fridge brings his pals closer.

"This is the guy! He stepped in with BOTH feet!"
I calmly said, "Funny. Really funny." Debbie and Josh tried to hide their faces.

Fridge handed me a sharp stick. "Hey man PLEASE sign the spot where you fell in .... I want to remember this spot forever."

I signed it "To The Fridge and his friends, Love Joel".


Popular posts from this blog

SAMMY: The Novel (An Overview)

I finished writing Sammy:The Novel. 

So ... I called my good buddy and excellent writer, Dave Scheiber, to help me write an overview to pique the interest of publishers. The stuff that Dave wrote made me want to read my own book! We combined our efforts and here's what we came up with:

SAMMY (An Overview)

Sammy Levine, 86-year-old resident of Star of David nursing home, was not happy with his daily existence and dreamed of taking one last trip with his wife Esther (presently residing in an urn on the third shelf in his room). Sammy was careful about not exposing his plan to anyone, especially his son, Barry, who dutifully visited regularly and tried to make sure that he lived out his remaining days comfortably.

Through a carefully choreographed plan, Sammy managed to access personal information on three recently deceased residents from the nursing home’s computers. Then he applied for and obtained three new credit cards. Armed now with available cash and credit, he loaded up Esth…

Close Call

I was just putting the finishing touches on my new novel, Sammy, which will be available to order in November (shameless self promotion!) ... when I started thinking about some of the characters in my past life. One character I've actually written about in the past just popped into my head. It's a repeat story but I hope you enjoy it ... again.

When I was a Freshman at LSU, our dorm was set up like a suite with two adjoining double rooms and a common kitchen and living room. "Suite" really makes it sound much fancier than it was. Actually, living room makes it sound much fancier than it was. The walls were cinder block and the living room was about 100 square feet. I don't think four of us could even stand up in there at one time.

One of the four guys in our suite was the place kicker for the LSU Tigers. His name was Phil and he was from Bogalusa, Louisiana. He had the bed next to mine. Phil was about 6'8" and weighed well over 300 pounds. He was a big …

Princess Grace's Diary

We surprised our little princess, Grace on Friday with a last minute visit to Savannah. She and her BFF Stella had a joint princess birthday party.

It was of course no surprise to Deb and me that the trip had a few surprises for us, too.

It started out with a light show at the airport (we chose to fly rather than drive the 12 hours back and forth for one day). Lightning strikes were coming fast ... so the tarmac was closed until it settled down. We had to get to Atlanta in time to catch what had become the LAST flight of the night to Savannah at 11:20 PM.

We made it ... barely ... and fell asleep at 2 AM.

Up at 8 and out the door via Uber to The Landings (a mere 45 minute drive) and just in time to see this adorable duo.

Big brother Cole was  one of the "hosts".

Pony rides were there for the guests.

Matching Princess cakes (of course).

Lots of fun.

At about 2, Deb and I headed back to the airport with Nikki driving and made it in PLENTY of time to find out that there were n…