I really hate plastic straws.
I guess "hate" is a strong word ... strongly dislike might be more accurate. I have nothing against straws, by the way. What I really miss are the old paper straws.
Remember those?
If you're old enough to remember, straws used to be made out of thick paper. They were more than just straws. They were blowguns to put little paper pellets in. Their sleeves were strong enough to slip down and shoot at ceilings. If you used enough air and spit on the end of the sleeve, they might stick up there for months. And you could control how much liquid you sucked into your mouth. The ends would collapse and flatten ... and then they would fall apart just about the time that you finished.
They were even more fun when you got them at Saturday matinees.
On some Saturdays, I used to take the streetcar downtown to the Joy Theater with my buddies to watch a movie classic like The Tingler or I Was A Teenage Frankenstein. For a dollar fifty, I could get transportation, see a movie, buy a box of popcorn and a coke and even get a burger afterward.
Once the movie started it was "straw wars". Shooting your buddies on the side of the head with paper missiles was the first order of business. After finishing your popcorn, the next step was tearing the box so that you can make goggles and earpieces to wear for optimal movie watching. Finally, if you were really brave ... you would find a girl sitting by herself in the crowd and sneak up behind when the Tingler attacks ... or the Blob slimes someone ... and stick a wet finger in her ear.
Those were the days.
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