Skip to main content

This Little Piggie Cried Wah Wah Wah

This is the last time I let anybody else cut my toenails.

The woman who I posted on the left is probably wanted in the US and Vietnam for physical abuse and foot torture. She gave me a pedicure yesterday (they call it that to make you think it's a fancy thing that doesn't hurt). As you can see, she hides her face with a surgical mask which can only mean that she is concerned about being recognized or she was kicked recently by an angry customer. I would have tried it but she had numerous sharp objects in her lap.

I knew I was in trouble when she first told me to put my feet in boiling water. When I complained she just smiled and said she "no speak English".

She then grabbed my foot and started chopping my nails, jabbing the corners and then .... then ... she did the unthinkable. She did my little toe ... the ABUSE.

When she took out that emery board (better known as a creepy file that makes your eyes water) my little toe screamed with pain. To add insult to injury she then took out a funky sponge and rubbed my instep until it tickled so much that I tired to pull away ... but she had the death grip on me.

The amazing thing I noticed was that there were at least ten women there getting tortured with me and they were chatting, relaxed, sticking their feet in some Xray machine and having a ball.

They can't enjoy this can they?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

SAMMY: The Novel (An Overview)

I finished writing Sammy:The Novel. 

So ... I called my good buddy and excellent writer, Dave Scheiber, to help me write an overview to pique the interest of publishers. The stuff that Dave wrote made me want to read my own book! We combined our efforts and here's what we came up with:

SAMMY (An Overview)

Sammy Levine, 86-year-old resident of Star of David nursing home, was not happy with his daily existence and dreamed of taking one last trip with his wife Esther (presently residing in an urn on the third shelf in his room). Sammy was careful about not exposing his plan to anyone, especially his son, Barry, who dutifully visited regularly and tried to make sure that he lived out his remaining days comfortably.

Through a carefully choreographed plan, Sammy managed to access personal information on three recently deceased residents from the nursing home’s computers. Then he applied for and obtained three new credit cards. Armed now with available cash and credit, he loaded up Esth…

Close Call

I was just putting the finishing touches on my new novel, Sammy, which will be available to order in November (shameless self promotion!) ... when I started thinking about some of the characters in my past life. One character I've actually written about in the past just popped into my head. It's a repeat story but I hope you enjoy it ... again.

When I was a Freshman at LSU, our dorm was set up like a suite with two adjoining double rooms and a common kitchen and living room. "Suite" really makes it sound much fancier than it was. Actually, living room makes it sound much fancier than it was. The walls were cinder block and the living room was about 100 square feet. I don't think four of us could even stand up in there at one time.

One of the four guys in our suite was the place kicker for the LSU Tigers. His name was Phil and he was from Bogalusa, Louisiana. He had the bed next to mine. Phil was about 6'8" and weighed well over 300 pounds. He was a big …

Princess Grace's Diary

We surprised our little princess, Grace on Friday with a last minute visit to Savannah. She and her BFF Stella had a joint princess birthday party.

It was of course no surprise to Deb and me that the trip had a few surprises for us, too.

It started out with a light show at the airport (we chose to fly rather than drive the 12 hours back and forth for one day). Lightning strikes were coming fast ... so the tarmac was closed until it settled down. We had to get to Atlanta in time to catch what had become the LAST flight of the night to Savannah at 11:20 PM.

We made it ... barely ... and fell asleep at 2 AM.

Up at 8 and out the door via Uber to The Landings (a mere 45 minute drive) and just in time to see this adorable duo.

Big brother Cole was  one of the "hosts".

Pony rides were there for the guests.

Matching Princess cakes (of course).

Lots of fun.

At about 2, Deb and I headed back to the airport with Nikki driving and made it in PLENTY of time to find out that there were n…