My grandfather always said," Don't watch your money, watch your health." So one day I was watching my health and someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
On Friday, I visited my new Gastroenterologist ... Jackie Mason!
His name tag reads: Dr. Haim Pinkas, but he can't fool me. It was Jackie Mason. I was set to get an endoscopy from him when he told me, "You know ... you don't really need to be knocked out for dis procedure."
"Really? Do you do these without anesthesia?"
"Only on myself. Colonoscopies too. It's like playing a big video game."
"Well, I think I would rather be knocked out."
"Okay boychik ... ve do it your way." He looked at Debbie who was trying not to laugh. "Is dis your vife?"
"Yes ... this is Debbie."
"Nice to meet you. You a nice slim goil ... vat you doin with dis vun?"
"Dr. Pinkas ... " I spoke up. "I'm sitting right here."
"Not if you don't lose some veight."
Note: My throat was sore for the rest of the day ... but at least he didn't leave any instruments in my stomach. At least none I know of.
I wonder if Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks will consult.