Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Dorm Darling

There she was.  I recognized her right away sitting in the student union .... by HERSELF! Oh yeah ... sure I recognized her. Everybody recognized her. She was the most sought after freshman on campus. After all ... she WAS a "Dorm Darling" (voted on by the men's association ... whatever that was). Her picture was everywhere and I was just 20 feet away from her.
One of my roommates Barry punched me in the arm, "Hey! That's .... "
"Yeah, I know ...shhh".
"Isn't she the one you're always ....?"
" .... just keep it down."

The 6 other guys at the table started in on me. They all knew that I was obsessed with her. After months of hanging out with these guys, shaved heads, beanies, freshman slaves to the upperclassmen ... we were all hungry for just one female to pay attention to us. I, of course, had to open my big mouth and talk about wanting to (no GOING to) date this one ... the one that no freshman was ever gonna talk to ... the one that all the upperclassmen were after ... and here she was right in front of me. Me ... the big talker.

They said stuff like: "Go talk to her." ... "Yeah ... she's just dying to meet you." .... "Cmon. No guts." .... "Go on."  .... "Hey ... You ain't got a HAIR on your ass if you don't go over there ... "

Hmmmm. Ass hair ... the last ditch effort to send you over the top. My face turned red. I was almost ready to ....

"Tell you what ...", my friend Barry said. "I'll give you TWENTY DOLLARS if you get a date with her right now."

That did it.

You swear to God ... $20." I asked.
"Yep ... $20. If you get a REAL date with her. Gotta be a real date."

We shook on it.

I started walking ... probably took me a week and a half to walk those few steps. I heard the guys behind me laughing and jumping around but didn't look back.  Finally I was just a few feet away ... and then she turned.

This part I remember exactly. She had long blonde hair and tossed it over her shoulder when she turned. I almost passed out cold. My throat closed right up.

"Hi," she said.
"jgttfgffvjlkkjb" I answered.
" Pardon?"

I turned away ... embarrassed ... and started to walk back. The guys were blowing kisses at me, hugging themselves, making lewd gestures in her direction.

I stopped ... I turned back around and walked right up to her.
"Sorry about that."
She looked up. "About what?"
"um ... nothin ... I'm Joel ... and I had a question for you."
"Do I know you?"
"No .... okay ... would you like to go out with me?"

She looked past me at the circus of freshman now gathered at my table. I flinched ... not wanting to look around.

"Are those friends of yours?"
"Them? No. Actually ... I pretty much hate them all."
"How much?"
"Huh?"
"How much did they bet you?"
"Bet me? Oh ... you think ... no .... I..."
"How much?"
"Twenty dollars."
"I'll take ten. How about tomorrow night?"

I nodded in a stupor. She stood up, wrote her number and gave me a great big hug. Then she walked out the door.

You could have heard a pin drop behind me.

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