Well ... I'll tell you. Truth is, I gave her the whole twenty bucks we won on the bet because quite frankly I was afraid not to ... even though she LOOKED sweet and angelic in that picture. We dated a few times after that. For her I'm sure I was just an interesting diversion for a brief time.
Nonetheless ... it was fun while it lasted and I certainly needed fun that year.
Yes ... my social life was just about non-existent. One fact I forgot to mention was that toward the end of my senior year of high school, I developed mononucleosis. Yep ... Mono ... the kissing disease. I was pretty sick. The doctor told me that because I was jaundiced, I shouldn't have any alcohol for about a year. After that I should be fine.
Sure ... easy for him to say. Just don't drink during your first year in college. EVERY party we went to at LSU was a beerfest. But I was good ... refusing to drink ... even when friends dunked my head into a tub of beer. I just held my breath and didn't swallow.
I was doing okay until the LSU/ Ole Miss game.
This is THE big rivalry and when it's a home game ... the students and citizens of Baton Rouge are ordered by the police to get as drunk as they can and pass out around the campus. Radio stations play the famous play that all LSU grads have heard a million times ... The Halloween night 89 yard touchdown punt return by Billy Cannon (LSU's legendary running back) that won the Ole Miss game in 1959 and gave LSU the National Championship. Billy Cannon won the Heisman Trophy that year.
But let's remember that he is also a Louisiana boy ... from the state that brought us Huey Long and Carlos Marcello and so many wonderful citizens. Billy Cannon was convicted in the early '80s of a $6 million counterfeit scheme and was imprisoned for 3 years. But all was eventually forgiven and his jersey #20 was retired with honors.
But I digress (of course).
The weekend of the Ole Miss game was special for me because ... I had a date ... a real date ... not one I paid for ... a real one. And she couldn't wait to go to the game, party with me and ... drink.
She drank ... alot. I believe that night she threw up in Mike the Tiger's cage outside of the ZBT House. I didn't get a good look because I was passed out in the bushes next to the cage.
I do remember what happened next.
My mother was standing over me screaming and punching my father in the chest when I opened my eyes. I know she was screaming, even though I had temporarily gone deaf and saw her veins pop on her forhead. I thought of course this was just a bad drunken dream and I would wake up soon. But it was real.
I looked to the side and saw my date's head in the tiger cage and her dress was tucked into her panty hose. I thought it would not be a good time to introduce her to my parents.
"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?"
My mom answered. "Sam ... he wants to know what we are doing here. Don't just stand there ... say something. Tell him we came up to SURPRISE him ... and guess who is surprised now. "
At that moment my dad pulled me to my feet and asked my mom if she smelled liquor.
"Sam .... how stupid are you ... he's been drinking and KILLING himself. He forgot that he has NO LIVER???"
My dad said, "I'll put him in the car."
At this point I must tell you that this is a typical conversation with my parents. I am never an active participant in any of the dialogue.
The rest of the night was a blur. I remember my mom packing bags and punching my dad repeatedly because he probably asked too many questions. They finally figured out that taking me home was not going to work ... mainly because between the two of them they couldn't develop a cohesive plan. So they left the next morning.
Mike the Tiger III became the new mascot ... Mike II died that year.
Loving your posts. Your words make the picture so clear. Hilarious!
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