Friday, June 14, 2019

The Old Man, Hobble Around, Drug Assisted Hip Replacement BLUES

When you're old you're automatically un-hip. Right? You know this because your kids tell you, your wife tells you and ... at some point ... your HIP tells you. My hip was the last to know. But when it got the word, it was PAINFUL.

So ... a new adventure in hip replacement was coming sooner than I expected. Some of you may have already had this special experience. For those who haven't ... here is your guide to "The Old Man, Hobble Around, Drug Assisted Hip Replacement BLUES (sung in the key of F)

The happy guy in the space hat with his thumbs up is me ... looking forward to getting a NEW PAIN FREE HIP and totally unaware of the pain that followed. How could I know? Everyone I talked to said "Oh wait until you have a hip replacement. No more pain ... you will love it".   

I'm still waiting.

Surgery was Tuesday. I had a great doctor. He must have been really excited about seeing me that morning at TGH because he requested that I arrive at 5:00 AM. Those who know me know I hate to get up early (especially Ray Smith who wants me to go fishing with him at that hour ... you can't tell me that fish HAVE to eat then) and will be shocked to know that I arrived there with Debbie right on time.

By the way ... surgery was scheduled for 10:30 (of course).

I was handed the usual 300 printed labels with my name and birthday. I carried them to each place I landed ... nursing stations, lab, surgery. I've been through this at least a dozen times on hospital visits but never quite understood what they were used for and why each person I met STILL asked me for my name and birthday.

Fast forward to surgery. I won't bore you with the gory details because ... well ... I was asleep. The important part was I WOKE UP! Had a great funny nurse who woke me up in Recovery and remembered me from another surgery and had become a reader of my blog. I love meeting my readers ... all six of them!

They took me up to my room, gave me a cool, yellow blanket with matching socks and strapped on these interesting compression leg things that pump and keep you from having blood clots.


(for now ... gotta get my sleep)

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