Friday, January 4, 2019

That’s What She Said

This past weekend, I made a casual remark to Debbie. I thought it was something like, “Honey, what do you think we should do about breakfast?”(Debbie heard it differently. She thought I said ... “Hey, get me breakfast, woman!”)

So she replied ... “Really? What am I ...  your breakfast bitch?”

“No ... I didn’t mean that you were ... or you had to ...” I stammered stupidly.

“Well if you find a breakfast bitch, send her to me.”

After groveling for a while longer, explaining that I would NEVER say something so callous. I had a great idea for a new business. Uber had created Uber Eats ... they pick up meals at select restaurants.

So ... what about creating Uber Bitch? For men and women.

Just think about it. You’d click on the app and order your Uber Bitch to make breakfast or pick up your dry cleaning or get you a beer or take the kids to soccer practice, or make excuses when you have to cancel appointments.

So I asked Deb. “Hey what do you think about Uber Bitch as a business line?”

She just stared at me and said after a few cold minutes ... “I might just create Uber Husband!” (Actually, I thought she said, “How about Uber Pool Boy? Much less stress and easier to use. “). 

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