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Sammy on Saturday

"How's that girl doing at the university?"

"Dad ... are you talking about the President?"

"Yes ... her."

"She is doing fine."

"I hope she does something about education."

"Well, I think she does something about education every day."

"I mean something about how expensive it is. I read that we are spending a ridiculous amount of money. Maybe we should try to find other things to keep kids off the street."

"What?"

"Yeah that's right ... we spend too much money on education and health care and ... entertainment."

"Entertainment?"

"You didn't know that?"

"Dad ... the government doesn't ..."

"And ... I think we should probably get rid of football."

"At USF?"

"Everywhere."

"What? College football is your life. You watch every game played on TV."

"I could do without it ... it's ruining the country."

"LSU included."

"No ... that's different Joel. You know that."

I looked at Sammy and just shook my head. Last week ... the doctor said that he was on his last legs. His heart was failing, he wasn't eating and he was quarantined from the rest of the residents with a bad eye infection. He looked like he was about ten years younger.

"Dad ... your eye looks better."

"I know ... no more mensa (translation: mersa)."

"You're getting out more?"

"First time in weeks I went to Red Lobster."

"Good."

"You know what I decided? I want to eat a shrimp."

"That's a switch."

"I always was taught I'd go to hell if I ate that stuff. Anything that wasn't kosher"

"You used to eat bacon every morning."

"That was different."

Ahhhh ... what a surprise.

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