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Fatty Fatty 2 by 4 ...

Who is the fat guy in all those pictures that people send me with my face on them?

What???  Me???  FAT???

Wait a minute ... I may be getting a little thick around the middle  ... and Debbie might talk about my belly (kinda cute) ... and I may have put on about 10 (or 30) pounds or so ...

Okay, I admit it.

I am officially fat ... again.

That's the first step to good health (or that's what I'm told). Tell yourself you are really fat and unhealthy and then fix it with exercise and diet. Simple formula ... just do it.

I KNOW that was said by a skinny person. Fat people say ... "Maybe I won't super size my Big Mac and fries ... and I'll rinse it down with a big diet coke!" Oh sure ... there's the occasional Tony Little (former fat guy turned exrecise guru) or Richard Simmons (who is unhealthy at any weight) or Jared the Subway guy (another party animal) ...

 ... but there's also Oprah.

I can relate to Oprah. I have a permanent yo yo attached to my brain.

This week, Deb and I are on the Sugar Busters diet. We read that sugar is poison. It kills every organ in your body and turns you into a mass murderer (or something like that).

All I know is that for the last few days WITHOUT sugar, I have tried to kill 14 people and several small animals ... that is ... when I'm awake enough to remember. My exercise program lasted 2 and a half days (the last day I did the treadmill for about 10 minutes).

But I'm determined this time. By the way ... Anybody got a freaking cookie out there?

JUST ONE????  


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I was just putting the finishing touches on my new novel, Sammy, which will be available to order in November (shameless self promotion!) ... when I started thinking about some of the characters in my past life. One character I've actually written about in the past just popped into my head. It's a repeat story but I hope you enjoy it ... again.

When I was a Freshman at LSU, our dorm was set up like a suite with two adjoining double rooms and a common kitchen and living room. "Suite" really makes it sound much fancier than it was. Actually, living room makes it sound much fancier than it was. The walls were cinder block and the living room was about 100 square feet. I don't think four of us could even stand up in there at one time.

One of the four guys in our suite was the place kicker for the LSU Tigers. His name was Phil and he was from Bogalusa, Louisiana. He had the bed next to mine. Phil was about 6'8" and weighed well over 300 pounds. He was a big …