Saturday, March 12, 2011

Sam Speaks (again)

Debbie's least favorite conversation with Sam took place before we left for New York. It took me a few weeks to get her permission ... and even with permission this story requires some careful editing.

The night we called, I think it took 3 or 4 attempts to get past his voice mail message, "Thank you for calling me. My number is 555-5555. Please leave a message at my number, 555-5555 and I'll call you back. (at the end of his message he coughs, chokes and drops the phone and then there's the beep)" If you didn't know Sam ... you would think he dropped dead after the message. But that's just the way he holds a conversation.

He actually answered the phone on our third attempt.

Sam, "Hello?"

Debbie and I on speaker phone, "Hi dad ....Hi Sam."

Sam ... "Who's this?"

Us ... "It's Joel and Debbie ... as in your children."

Sam ... "Oh ... yeah ... glad you called."

Me ... "You doin okay?"

Sam ... "Yeah fine .... Joel ... listen ... the girl from USF ... Judy, I think her name is?"

Me ... "You mean Judy Genshaft, the President?

Sam ... "Yeah, her. I saw where she and her husband gave a million dollars to the school."

Me ... "Yes she did ... very generous, huh?"

Sam ... "Is she rich?"

Me ... "Well ..."

Sam ... "How much does she make? Do you make as much as her?"

Me ... "We both do fine."

Sam ... "That's good ... Hey Joel ... listen ... you remember Karol?"

Debbie's eyes open wide and she mutters to me. "Your old girlfriend Karol?"

Sam ... "Do you know how I can reach her?"

We both look at each other."Dad ... Karol and I dated over 30 years ago."

Sam ... "She was so good to me. I miss her."

Debbie started to speak.

Sam ... "Hey ... Why did you ever leave her?"

After muttering an obscenity, Debbie said ... "Sam ... I'm still here on the phone!"

Sam ... "Hey Debbie ... listen ... can you get me another pair of those pants that you got me last month. These are getting a little snug." 

2 comments:

Chrissy said...

This is so funny! And so true. How do they remember people from a hundred years ago but they don't remember what they ate for breakfast?

Joel Momberg said...

@Chrissy ... I know. It's amazing what they do remember. I still have to introduce myself to Sam every time I talk to him.