Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Dancing With the Stars ... Really?

One of the dumbest TV shows on the air is "Dancing With the Stars".

Yes I said it ... and certainly I have deeply offended some of you. I also realize that I might have lost half of my readers with that comment. The other half will leave me when I tell you that the second dumbest was "American Idol" (but I’ll save that for another day).

To be fair, I could only watch about an hour of each. I made it through the last few minutes by pretending that I was watching "Saturday Night Live".

I mean ... Really? A bunch of wannabe/ used-to-be/never-were celebrities trying to compete by doing tangos in tights .... Really? Whiny judges who berate fat people for not being light on their feet ... Really? Were they ever light on their feet? I should say … Were they ever NOT light on their feet?

I have to say that the creators of the show did a heck of a job making this one of the most watched programs in history (I just made that up … but it’s probably true.) The popularity is truly cult proportions. I hear people talking about it everywhere. Teams, individual performances, scores, personal info … if I didn’t know any better, I would swear they were talking about Kurt Warner’s passing average instead of his score for creative use of costume. And what’s with Warren Sapp and Jerry Rice … I am embarrassed for both of them.

Just like other sports , this show has its share of accidents:

Marie Osmond fainted after her performance in week five of the competition, after which the program immediately went into commercial; however, Osmond was able to regain composure and continued with the program. (She also had a resurgence of her career).

During week seven of Season 6, Cristián de la Fuente suffered a ruptured tendon in his left biceps muscle during his performance. The judges critiqued him according to his performance up to the injury. He was sent to the hospital immediately and missed the end of the show. (I don’t know who the heck he is … but it was important enough for him to appear in Wikepedia.)

In Season 8, after landing on a wireless microphone pack and injuring his back during a dress rehearsal, Steve-O was unable to perform live. (What a jackass).

I wondered about the scoring system so I checked it out online …

The scoring begins with the judges' marks. Each judge gives a 1 to 10 score, for a total score of 3 to 30. When multiple performances are scored, only the cumulative total counts. The contestants' "judges' shares" are calculated as the percentage of the total number of points awarded to all contestants that evening. (For example, if a team earned 20 points on a night when the judges awarded 200 points, their judges' share would be 20/200 = 10%.) This percentage is then added to the percentage of North American votes received by each contestant. The bottom two couples are identified in the results show, and the couple with the lowest combined total is eliminated.[1] Season 8 added an occasional "dance-off," in which contestants could re-do one of their dances, in an effort to improve their judges' score. This might be discontinued due to the eliminated couple always scoring higher than or equivalent to the couple that was saved.


It’s really very simple. There are judges who give a percentage of the total and “voters” who call in their votes. If you’re wondering why some dancers like Bristol Palin are still dancing, it’s because the popular vote REALLY counts and the judges votes REALLY don’t. So if you are someone that people love to watch … you’re in!

In April 2010 it was revealed that Kate Gosselin had e-mailed friends and family asking them to vote as many as ten times each. ("Whether such ballot-stuffing is possible under ABC's voting algorithm remains to be determined." said an ABC spokesperson.)

Okay … maybe I was too rough on them.

Say … does anybody know what happened to the other Jennifer Grey? You know the one who looked like Jennifer Grey?


No. Shan't. said...

I agree. It is stupid. In Poland season 8 (or 9? I have no idea...) was won by a WEATHERGIRL. From a 24h news channel only available on satellite/cable. A celebrity alright...

joel said...

@ Alex ... I love it! Makes perfect sense to me.

Peter Vann said...

One of Matt's favorite shows...SO GAY

joel said...

@Pete ... Very disturbing.

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...