Thursday, April 15, 2010

Giving Back

Okay so what?
So ... I didn't feel like coming back from LA without taking a side trip to Vegas. What do you mean I sound defensive? I am not! I just happen to enjoy unwinding with a little blackjack ... slot machine ... roulette  ... ya know?
This is the ridiculous conversation I had with myself the other day. My "Vegas Persona" won, of course ... always does.

... So I got a room at my favorite little motel: Caesar's Palace and cleaned out my bank account and began my personal quest to becoming Mr. Papagiorgio (via ... National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation).

You see ... I always feel like Mr. Papagiorgio when I go to Vegas.

Because ... they like me. They send me all these wonderful brochures and offer me 4 and 5 night stays at the beautiful hotels ... all for free ... because ... they like me. I drink for free and eat for free and they call me Mr. Momberg (short for Papagiorgio) and tell me to have a good time ... because they LIKE me.

They DO like me ... don't they?

And I always feel that because they are so good to me ... I need to ... give back. I feel it's the least I can do while I'm there. So I take part in all the activities that they offer in the casinos ... to ... you know ... help the wonderful people that have given me so much ...

- The Casino Host ... with the pretty gold chains that match his pretty gold bracelet.

- The Blackjack Dealer/Roulette Spinner ... usually Asian and with a name like Kim or Ana ... not much on small talk but really quick on the draw(or spin).

- The Cocktail Girls ... often well endowed and more often lately about 50 years old. They have the familiar singing response as they walk by ... "Drinks? COCKtails?"

- The Slot Payoff People ... not sure the technical term but they are my favorites. They are so happy when you win and congratulate you up and down. They seem to disappear for a long time though ... after you give them your drivers' license and wait for your payoff.

Ah yes ... I owe them so much. They have truly taught me how to GIVE back.


A Daft Scots Lass said...

awesome!!!! this made me giggle

Toni said...

So, how much did you end up giving back? It's good that you do your part. Have you thought about investing in a gold pinky ring...I've heard they bring good luck.

joel said...

@Gillian .... Thanks!

@Toni ... Let's just say I gave til it hurt. Pinkie ring is a good look in Vegas. Maybe I'll try it out. Tx!

Ally said...

I love what you said about the free drink girls. I'm headed to Atlantic City next month. Haven't been in about six months now... They use me, yet I keep going back for more.

joel said...

@Ally ... I hear ya. Actually my persona is more Chevy Chase than Papagiorgio.

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...