Saturday, October 29, 2016

Brilliance!

Just read an interesting article on The Four Traits of Highly Intellectual People. Actually it was kind of a YouTube slide show on Facebook ... so naturally you can be assured that it's well researched and the ultimate academic bible on what sets us intellectuals apart from regular people. (Notice I included myself in the intellectual category.)

Check out how many of these apply to you:

1. They are messy.

Messy desks promote creative thinking and stimulate new ideas. Not sure how or why but I bought it. My desk, closet and car were last straightened up in 1976. This trait probably puts me in the genius category.

2. They talk to themselves.

Talking to yourself helps you more clearly define your problem more clearly and come up with a better solution more quickly. Actually I've had long conversations with myself. My other self is not nearly as interesting.

3. They swear more.

Apparently a large vocabulary of swear words is a sign of rhetorical strength. I must have a pretty fair amount of rhetorical strength ... whatever the f*** that means.

4. They stay awake longer.

Staying awake longer than others has been proven to increase IQ. Between peeing every hour and checking my emails all night my brain must be on overdrive. That'll show Debbie! She is always telling me to put my phone down.

Ha!




Saturday, October 15, 2016

70 Year Old Virgin??

Interesting times we live in.

The Trump bus tape is the latest of those precious moments in the presidential campaign that SNL prays for. No one would believe it. No matter which candidate you love, hate or don't care about as long as the opponent doesn't win ... you gotta admit this was an extra painful moment for the Donald.

Okay ,,, we've all heard the rhetoric: "locker room talk", "insulting to women", "all men do it", "a plot by the liberal media" or "Donald just doesn't really mean what he says". Well here's another take on it. I have to admit, it wasn't my original idea. I credit one of the guys I work with (who will remain nameless because I didn't ask him if I could use his name and he might be a little less careless politically than I am).

The Donald is Steve Carrell.

Whether he is in the Office or 40 year old Virgin or Anchorman ... he's always the inappropriate dorky guy who makes you want to cover your eyes in embarrassment when he says things like:

"Is it true if you don't USE it you LOSE it?" (Virgin)

"Yes it's true that I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service ... I need a username and I've got a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know where my priorities are." (Office)

"People seem to like me ... I like ice cream and really enjoy a nice pair pf slacks. Years later a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people might call mentally retarded."(Anchorman)
  
"Holding her breast was like holding a bag of sand."(Virgin)

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. People can write anything they want to about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information." (Office)

"That's what SHE said." (Office)

Carrell would have definitely said "I moved on her heavily. In fact I took her furniture shopping. I said, I'll show you where they have some nice furniture." ... or ... "I've got to use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her." ... or ... "When you're a star they let you grab them by the ..."

Oh ... just my opinion ... but I never heard anyone say this stuff in a locker room. 

Monday, October 3, 2016

Commit ... You'll be happy you did!

There are commitments ... and then there are THE COMMITMENTS!!! (The type of commitments that you love).

Back in the early 90s, there was a film about a group of young Irish musicians who put together a band that I never get tired of. Yesterday I noticed that Netflix addded it to their selection.

If you haven't seen it ... here's the basic plot: In the Northside of Dublin, Ireland, Jimmy Rabbitte is a young music fanatic who aspires to manage an Irish soul band in the tradition of 1960s American recording artists. He places an ad in the local newspaper and holds auditions in his parents' home. After being deluged by scores of disastrous performers, Jimmy decides to put together a band consisting of friends and people he encounters—lead singer Deco Cuffe, guitarist Outspan Foster, pianist Steven Clifford, saxophonist Dean Fay, bassist Derek Scully, drummer Billy Mooney, and female backup singers Bernie McGloughlin, Natalie Murphy and Imelda Quirke. Jimmy then meets Joey "The Lips" Fagan, a veteran musician who offers his services, and has unlikely stories about meeting and working with famous musicians. Joey names the band "The Commitments".

What follows is a great story and even better music.

Check it out. I'm just sayin .... you'll be happy you did.

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...