Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use any cowboy song ever made. 

There comes the day you realize,

Your prostate has grown oversized.
Your bladder strains. 

ou hold on to the wall. 

And here you stand,
Your friend in hand,
Cursing, screaming , all you can.
Just to get those precious drops to fall. 

Now, in the past you had a stream. 
But today it’s just a dream. 
The pain’s too much and you can’t stop the tears.

Your doctor tells you not to wait. 
The ER now … don’t hesitate. 
So off you go to face your biggest fears. 

And sure enough your fate is sealed, 
When tests are done and then revealed. 
A catheter is ordered at that time. 

A guy named Bruce knocks on your door. 
He says it’s you he’s looking for. 
John Wayne Gacy’s face just comes to mind. 

He says of course “there won’t be pain.”
He lied of course the pain’s insane. 
Bathed in sweat you’re  praying for the end. 

Finally done he doesn’t stay. 

John Wayne Gacy goes away. 
And you are left there naked with no pride. 

If there’s  a moral to this story. 
It’s not great, for that I’m sorry, 
“Father Time is on the other side.”