Friday, June 11, 2010

Cyberknife Part 1

*** Breaking news ***

Momberg Goes Cyber

I know there are some other things happening in the world ... we're right in the middle of some of them now. USF is at the forefront of the BP oil spill ... in fact we are asking them for $100 million for our consortium of Florida universities to help solve the environmental problems.

But ... my mind is literally in cyberspace.

That's right ... I started my cyberknife treatments this week and I wanted to share in Part One what my carefully laid out preparation process is for of each treatment.

First there are Mother's Little Helpers.

Better known as Xanax, these help me relax as they put on my Friday the 13th Jason mask (be sure to look for this in Part 2), strap me in and zap my brain.

One of these babies and I practically watch the procedure outside my body.

Secondly, there's my IPhone/IPod.

They let me crank up the volume during the procedure as I listen to a variety of tunes from Randy Newman, Irma Thomas, The Little Willies, Kinky Friedman and Paul Simon.

Randy sings to me about Harps and Angels while Irma belts out Ruler of My Heart.

Third is Prayer.

Debbie taught me this one. Jews don't really pray like this. Our prayers are something like ..."Oh my God ... what part of my damned body is gonna fall off next?"

I prefer this more subtle approach.

My insurance policy is Holy Water.

Before my first treatment, Debbie reached into her bag and pulled out this little bottle and did the sign of the cross on my face. It only burned a little ... but it was worth it.

By the way, she got this from some remote church and refills it regularly. A fact you might not know: You can refill this with plain water because there is still holiness in the bottle.

I'm learning SO MUCH during this time.

Stay tuned for Part 2: Jason Returns


Anonymous said...

Hell I have been living under a rock. What the heck is cyberknifing? What is happening?

joel said...

@Virginia ... It's a procedure for tumors. Mines benign and sits on the sensory nerve on the right side of my head. It's a noninvasive procedure that looks like a big Xray machine. Stay tuned Ill put a picture in next time. It's all good ... Really ... I'm doing fine.

kcl said...

It sounds like a blast!
Xanax, great music, everyone in the world praying for you (at least 61) and a sprinkling of HW. A friend of mine had the cyberknife a few years ago and it didn't sound like this much fun but it was very successful. You look great.

joel said...

@kcl .... I'm a lucky guy. You know what they say ... You get a few lemons and you can always make lemonade. Thanks kc.

Terry Martsolf said...

So glad to hear all is going well. You're in my thoughts and of course countless others!!!

Bobby Allan said...

Love the pictures! Looks like your going into this with the right attitude. But I'll wish you luck anyway. ;-)

Wait. You can refill a "holy water bottle" and it's holy again? Why, we'll make miLLions!

joel said...

@Chrissy ... Thanks! Yeah holy water out of the tap. Low overhead and potential monstrous profit margins. Let's do it.

Anonymous said...


why is mandy patinkin posing for photos on your website and i hope you made sure to have given him your money if you didn't and he did because if not, you may find yourself in law trouble by this i mean perhaps he sees it and will sue you for that money which would be his instead and not yours from your site.

kcl said...

Mandy never looked so good!

Leigh Aubrey said...

Where is the Cyberknife unit you are attending?? We are trying to get the Cyberknife to Australia ( atleast one in the country would be awesome)
Good luck mate hope you are well soon.

joel said...

@kcl ... Thanks. Your check's in the mail!

@Leigh ... The center is called New Millennium CuberKnife Centers in Brandon, Florida. There are centers all over apparently and a website as well. Good luck.


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