Monday, January 21, 2013

More Sammy

Sammy called me last week to tell me his yellow shirt was missing.

He loved that shirt. We bought it from Penney's ...  because it was exactly what he wanted, wash and wear and that special kind of polyester that only Penney's sells. So today, we went shopping to replace the missing shirt.

We had some good news and some bad news when we got to Menorah Manor.

"Sammy," Debbie said, "We bought you two shirts." She opened the bag and held up a deep cranberry color shirt and a striped shirt.

"Hmmm. I got a purple shirt and I don't like stripes. Where's the yellow shirt?"

"Sorry Sammy ... They didn't have yellow in your size . Do you like either of those? This one's not purple."

"Okay, I guess."

I opened the other bag. "Dad ... we also got you a chicken salad sandwich from Jo-El's Deli. It's the kind you love right?"

"I already ate lunch. Wish you would have called."

"I did call you ... three times ... but ..."

"Joel ... how do I answer this phone? Take a look ... it says Voice Mail ... What does that mean?"

"It means you need to listen to messages. And you just open the lid ..."

"I don't know ... it just doesn't work."

He lost interest in that conversation. "Hey, I got a magazine from your school and there are lotsa of pictures of Jane or Janet or ..."

"Judy? The President?"

"Yeah ... her. So ... are you collecting premiums still?"

"What do you mean premiums?"

"You know! Your job ... premiums ... you still doing okay with money?"

"Me? You mean fundraising. Well yes ... we have been ..."

"Hey Debbie." (okay ... enough of that conversation) "You see those pictures on the wall?"

"Yes Sammy. I straightened them up what do you think?"

I chimed in."I think you did a great job."

Sammy said. "I think I need more pictures." He looked at the framed wedding picture of Debbie and the kids and me and said ... "Debbie ... do you have any better pictures of you?"

That Sammy ... he is such a charmer.      

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Saturday Market in St. Pete

What a day for the Saturday Market!

It was perfect weather in downtown St. Petersburg for a stroll ... through the crowds of young and not so young ... picking organic vegetables, walking dogs, balancing bikes, shopping for jewelry, nibbling on exotic foods and getting hugs.

Yes, that's right, getting hugs. You see ... today was FREE HUG FEST. I was going to get one but I had a hard time deciding whether I would get hugged by Raymond from The Rays, Mayor Bill Foster or the 80 year old woman who looked a tad too earnest.

The Free Hugs were really to promote the use of local businesses. By the look of the crowd, I think it was a message that was not lost on the masses.

Great music too. The band playing when I got there was Gumbo Boogie... bunch of old guys (probably younger than me) playing a great selection of New Orleans music like: "Ya Ya" by Lee Dorsey ("Sittin In La La Waitin for my Ya Ya ... uh huh").

There were good looking cup cakes from Patti (Kakes)....

...and there was a French restaurant ... well it was "a little" French (note the expert photo editing and the unknown finger in the upper left corner. I'm sure some kid stuck it there.)

...Cool birdhouses made out of license plates ...

... and my favorite ... a massage place that costs a dollar a minute. Bet that's false advertising. I wanted to try it out and ask for a minute massage but it's probably like those penny slots ... the minimum is 100 pennies a pull.

As I have said before ... St. Pete rocks and downtown is truly a special place.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Blues Brothers Do it GENSHAFT STYLE!

"I hope I don't split my pants!"
We are back!

Well ... we WERE back on Friday night at the Second Annual "Bandaids for Bridge Talent Show/Fundraiser", produced by the Medical Students at USF Morsani Medical School.

Wow that's a mouthful huh?

Dean Steve Klasko and I returned as the Blues Brothers and sang "Shake a Tail Feather ". We made it through one whole verse and a chorus until Steve stopped the show (a rehearsed stop, by the way) and said ..... "Hey Ellwood. We gotta do something more cutting edge like our Med School ... we are TOO old school!" I of course said "Naaaah" but was convinced to try it out.

At that point, Debbie and Steve's wife Colleen came out on stage and helped us into white tux jackets and big sunglasses.

We became PSY and his brother ... PSY (I guess) and did the "Gangam (Style)" song to new lyrics and called it "Genshaft Style" for our fearless leader Judy Genshaft.

Klasko: "I'm an obstetrician and my trade is catching babies  (he slid under my legs and turned to "deliver" a baby)

As dean I work with students hard so they walk around like zombies (yes babies and zombies ... tough rhyme huh?)

Cause with CAMLS, Obamacare and running USF Health there be no restin'

So the USF med students ... the others they be bestin' (your guess is as good as mine)."

Well ... fortunately because of our dancing and singing no one paid attention to Klasko's lyrics ... they were laughing too hard.

Hey ... by the way ... we came in third!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

I Love Florida

Road trip!

Deb and I motored to Savannah on Saturday morning to be with Dr. Nikki ... for her wedding shower, Yep ... first born is taking the plunge with a great young man, Steven Cohen (as my dad said: "What do you mean he's not Jewish ... he's a Cohen ... all Cohens are Jewish!") Apparently, Steven and his family missed that memo.

I'll fill you in on the party in a later entry. First I will tell you a little about the trip down. (I'm a little tired ... we just got back tonight).

We packed up the car and drove out at 9AM (that's 10:30 AM in "Debbie time").

It's a 6 hour drive to Savannah so we had plenty of time to have conversations. And we did. Deb made sure that we made up for lost time and took advantage of my hands on the wheel and not on my phone playing Words With Friends and checking emails.

We passed through Ocala. Have you ever been to Ocala? Well I gotta tell you that every square inch of Ocala is covered in Retirement Facilities. The biggest is The Villages. Massive community of retirees that numbers over 80,000.

Requirements are ... you must have a golf cart and it's gotta be tricked out with stuff that personalizes it to you. You know like Gator colors or raccoon tails or fuzzy dice or painted like the Starship Enterprise. And you gotta have golf bags. (Doesn't matter whether you play golf as long as you carry the bags.) And it's not the only community like that. Del Webb, Top of the World ... you name it and it's there.

Then we drove past Starke. That where the Florida State Prison is. Pretty creepy if you ask me. Remember Aileen Wounos? She was imprisoned there. Yeah ... she was a beauty ... killed all her boyfriends and girlfriends.

We also passed Gainesville. In addition to the University of Florida, Gainesville is also famous for topless breakfast restaurants.


Brings to mind Chamber of Commerce slogans:

1."Visit Ocala ... I SAID VISIT OCALA!"

2."Starke ... We are a secure gated community."

last but not least ...

3.  "Gainesville ... Where else can you get a waffle for $250?"

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...