My Pants are Ringing

"I've been calling you." Sammy said ... before I even said hello. The phone display said 'Menorah Manor' which told me that he was calling from the nursing station.

"I didn't get any messages. You okay?"

"Listen ... I dropped my phone a couple of times and now I get a white screen and can't call anybody. What do you think is wrong with it?"

"Well, off hand I'd say you broke it."

"I think I need a new battery."

"It's a brand new phone. I just got it for you two weeks ago. It's a Jitterbug ... they are supposed to be impossible to break."

"I know ... I think I need a battery."

"I think you need another phone."

"Can you fix it for me?"

"I'm not a phone repairman."

"The maintenance guy is getting me a new battery."

"Does he know it's a new phone?"

"Let me talk to Debbie."

"About the phone?"

"About my pants."

"What's wrong with your pants?"

"I had only one pair and it disappeared a few weeks ago."

"So what have you been wearing? No ... don't answer that."

"Will you call Jitterbug?'

"Wait ... what?" My head was spinning. Pants ... phone ...

"Call Jitterbug. They'll replace my phone. They have been so generous."

"Dad ... we write the check and they give us a phone."

"I know."