Blame it on my "Glibido"

Here's a funny for you. This was sent to me last week in an email.

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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.


4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 


5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.


6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high


8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


9. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)


11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.


12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.


13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web


16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.