Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Truth Is ....

 Friends and family continue to ask me: "So, how ARE you doing?"
It's really very nice that they are concerned about my health ever since I had those trips to OZ with the Scarecrow and the Tin Man. I usually keep it brief ... "Feeling good thanks." To which they usually answer ... "Good. You look great!" (I always kinda think that they reserve the last line in case I say ... "I feel like crap." Then they would say ... "I thought you looked a little puny.")

Debbie always tells me to tell the truth when people ask how I'm feeling.

Okay, here goes. Here are some of the things that still make me whine once in a while.

1. My right eye sometimes closes on its own. It still is numb (although no longer in need of my pirate patch). Probably looks like I'm winking at everyone from time to time. It also occasionally feels as if a dagger is sticking in it for a few seconds at a time. That would be the nerves acting up.

2. I have bandaids all over my body. This is because I take blood thinners. For those of you who have never taken them ... an accurate description would be that blood pours out of your body at various times of the day when you cut yourself shaving, have a minor skin irritaion or just point in the general direction of the next accident.

3. Headaches. This is the universal sign for "Oh my God ... who punched me in the head last night? Was it Mr.Plum with the lead pipe in the Library?"  This is either more nerve pain or TMJ (too much jawin')

4. Nose bleed. This is second only to bandaids as the least attractive left-over problem from brain surgery. Every morning I refresh my box of kleenex. Blood thinners ... gotta love them. AND if I get a headache I take Advil which gives the blood a triple threat. Makes my meetings so much more interesting.

5. Drooling. I've decided this might just be old age ... but I'll blame it on the continued numbness in my mouth and gums. Did I say that nosebleed and bandaids were unattractive? I guess this would take over the number one spot.

So that's the story.

In addition to the above ... I still have the occasional PVC (heart murmur not plumbing material), a slight limp from my fall a few months ago and trouble sleeping through the night.
That's truly why I only answer "Feeling good, thanks." (if I told the whole story, I'd be like the Robert Hayes character in 'Airplane' (everyone he sits next to and talks to ... kills themselves.)

Other than that ... I'm fine.

No comments:

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...