Saturday, February 19, 2011

Sam I Am

You probably missed me.

That's what all writers think when we are "behind" in our work. In my case it's been more than a week since my last blog ... and I know you were probably going through withdrawal.

I have a Sammy conversation for you:

Last week we took Sam out for breakfast (his favorite meal). I told him we would pick him up at 9AM. I had him repeat it a few times so that I knew he heard it. Sunday morning at 9 sharp I walked into the lobby at Menorah Manor and to my surprise ... no Sammy. He is usually ready and waiting a half hour early.

So I took the elevator to the fourth floor and was greeted by one of his nurses who said, "Oh there you are. He was so worried about you. He wasn't sure you were coming ... you are so late."

"What?" I asked, "I told him that I would be here at 9."  

"He said 7."

I just shook my head and walked into his room. He was snoring with the big headphones on and his pants unzipped.


He squinted ... "Joel! I thought you weren't coming. You are two hours late."

"I told you 9."

"Yeah but you called this morning at 6."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. I looked at the phone and it said new message."

I looked at his phone. "Dad that was a message from three days ago."

"So why did it say 'new message'?"

"Because you never listened to it."

"I did listen to it ... this morning."

I just stared at him.

He continued, "... and another thing ... you talk so fast. I could barely hear you say you were coming at 7."

"That's because I didn't say that."

"I don't want to argue. But do me a favor next time ..."

"What's that?"

"Don't hang up so fast ... by the time I get to the phone you have already left a message."

Folks ... I'm not making this stuff up.

No comments:

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...