Monday, July 25, 2016

A Fractured Fairy Tale (Don and Hill make plans)

Okay ... I rarely get political but the last few weeks I've had Convention Hangover so I just had to write a little pretend story that might have set the stage for our two candidates:

Trump Boardroom (2013) 
Donald Trump leans across his desk. "Say ... Paul (Manafort) ... I'm going to be President of the United States."

"Sure you are Mr. Trump".

"Seriously. I figured out how to do it. It's easy." Trump sits back in his kingly board chair and clasps his fingers together. "Paul ... What do people really want."

"Um ... To be happy?"

"No not really. They want to tell inappropriate jokes about minorities and not apologize for it."

"I think there's more to life than that."

"Not for those people. And those people make up the majority of people in our country. I'm the guy that can give them that!"

"With all due respect Mr. Trump I think that being president is a little more complicated."

"I don't think so. It's just like on the Apprentice. People love seeing me get people in the boardroom, listen while they tear each other apart, then I pick out the weakest ones and fire them. The rest love me until next week."

"Is that the plan for the presidency?"

"Pretty much." He pauses. "Except for one important element."

"Which is?"

"We need a villain. Maybe a few villains. We had Amarosa ... Remember how we got everyone to despise her? It was perfect. Once you create a villain you can do whatever you want and people will still love you if you fight the villain. Why I could shoot someone on 5thAvenue and still get votes. Hey ... I might use that."

"Where will you get the villain?"

"I'll pick one out of the candidate pool. Maybe I'll make them all villains."


Meanwhile at the Clinton Headquarters Hillary Clinton paces back and forth. "Robby (Mook) ... I'm going to be President of the United States."

"I know, Mrs. Clinton. You have said that for years."

"No Robby. I mean now!"

"Great. What's the plan?"

"Simple. I will clearly delineate my platform so that the people will know I'm the logical choice."

"Well ... As your chief advisor I should honestly tell you that the people don't exactly ... Um ... "

"Like me? Trust me? I know."

"So what's the strategy to deal with that?"

"Simple Robby. We will find the person who is even more untrustworthy and scarier than me on the Republican side ... And help get him nominated."

"Who could we get?"

"Donald Trump!"

"Haha. Brilliant! But wait ... Seriously? Do you really think he could be the Republican nominee?"

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