Monday, September 5, 2016

The Bug Man???

My sweet little Alissa came over to the house the other day to check on me.

"I'm doing fine, honey ... Thanks for bringing me bagels." 

"I would have come over earlier if I knew you had surgery."

"I didn't tell you?"

'No! I had to hear it from the bug man! He sprayed my house and asked me how you were doing after your surgery."

"He did?"

"Yes. You tell our bug man before your own daughter!"

Turned out Deb had cancelled with Steve (the bug man) and told him I'd be home that day from surgery. Alissa and Nate use him too. 

This is a public apology to my daughter for telling the bug man first. 

Friday, September 2, 2016

Igor, Is That a Lipoma on Your Shoulder Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

A few days ago I went to TGH for surgery AGAIN.

Big surprise huh? This time it was for the removal of a lipoma from my shoulder. I started to feel like Igor from Young Frankenstein ... remember him? He had that hump that moved around a lot during the movie.

Actually, a lipoma is a soft tissue mass that moves too (not quite that much) but in my mind it had become just as noticeable.

Plastic surgeon removed it and originally said it was a simple procedure that should take just 20 minutes.

He obviously didn't know me well. I'm the 5% guy who always has other issues even with simple surgery. This time it was attached to the muscle so it took longer and required a little deeper "dig" (like really close to China).

There's a movie out now called Hologram for a King with Tom Hanks. He has a lipoma on his back throughout the whole movie that bothers him so much that he tries to cut it out with a steak knife.

I thought that was a crazy premise until I had surgery and I looked at my back and shoulder.

Oh well, pain killers, a new attractive accessory called a drain that is pinned to my shirt for a week and a great excuse for a pity party over the weekend will be my life for the next few days. Then back to a normal life for me.

Normal? Is that when the ICU nurse wakes me up from anesthesia and says, "Hi Joel ... are you back again? Hey I read your blog ..."

Ballad of the Big Prostate

Here’s a little country tune I wrote just yesterday to commemorate a dark day in my history. I don’t have a tune but realized you can use an...